I said I'm starting today...now what?
I started my goal to be sober "for today" this morning.
I know how much achieving this "sober for today" will change my life for the better. But I don't know how to go about it. I don't know if I need professional help or not. I'm looking for other's experiences and advice on how to go about this.
Like Roger Ebert, who wrote in a great article about his struggle with alcoholism, I think of myself as a "functional alcoholic," but always an alcoholic. I started drinking many years ago--usually two or three beers after work, and maybe a few more on the weekends. This was my routine for more than twenty years. Even though I wasn't drinking a lot I always knew deep inside that I had a problem. But (I'd tell myself) as long as I kept it to a few I'd be okay. Well, that worked for a while. About six or seven years ago my "beer count" started going up. I was drinking four then five beers a night. I began to rationalize anew. I started telling my self that anything under a six-pack was still okay. I kept that plan until a few years ago when I broke the six-pack barrier and kept right on going. For the past two years I've been drinking eight to twelve beers a day and swearing it off every morning.
My story's not the worst you ever heard, and I haven't reached "the bottom," but I do need help. Can I ask for your advice?
I plan to go to AA meetings. (My plan is to go to a meeting today, and report back tomorrow. I went to a couple last year and they were very uplifting.) I also plan to start running again. I was an avid runner for years but haven't run much since I passed the six-pack threshold.
How else should I cope with my cravings and the "stupid brain" that keeps telling me that drinking just one beer will calm my nerves? Do you know any tricks? Do you think I need out-patient or in-patient help? (That actually scares me to death.)
Right now I'm desperate. And I kind of hope I stay desperate for a while. Desperation is what brought me here and I hope it keeps bringing me here until "here" becomes a way of life.
Thanks for listening,
Ambler
I know how much achieving this "sober for today" will change my life for the better. But I don't know how to go about it. I don't know if I need professional help or not. I'm looking for other's experiences and advice on how to go about this.
Like Roger Ebert, who wrote in a great article about his struggle with alcoholism, I think of myself as a "functional alcoholic," but always an alcoholic. I started drinking many years ago--usually two or three beers after work, and maybe a few more on the weekends. This was my routine for more than twenty years. Even though I wasn't drinking a lot I always knew deep inside that I had a problem. But (I'd tell myself) as long as I kept it to a few I'd be okay. Well, that worked for a while. About six or seven years ago my "beer count" started going up. I was drinking four then five beers a night. I began to rationalize anew. I started telling my self that anything under a six-pack was still okay. I kept that plan until a few years ago when I broke the six-pack barrier and kept right on going. For the past two years I've been drinking eight to twelve beers a day and swearing it off every morning.
My story's not the worst you ever heard, and I haven't reached "the bottom," but I do need help. Can I ask for your advice?
I plan to go to AA meetings. (My plan is to go to a meeting today, and report back tomorrow. I went to a couple last year and they were very uplifting.) I also plan to start running again. I was an avid runner for years but haven't run much since I passed the six-pack threshold.
How else should I cope with my cravings and the "stupid brain" that keeps telling me that drinking just one beer will calm my nerves? Do you know any tricks? Do you think I need out-patient or in-patient help? (That actually scares me to death.)
Right now I'm desperate. And I kind of hope I stay desperate for a while. Desperation is what brought me here and I hope it keeps bringing me here until "here" becomes a way of life.
Thanks for listening,
Ambler
Replies
This was one of mu first posts. I\'m still drinking. Every day I say this is my last day. Help me!