I really hate the dreams

Last night I dreamed about her again.  Except this time I was telling her exactly how I felt about what she did.  It made me wake up very early and really upset and mad. 
Funny thing is I felt like I wanted to cry and could not.  Then something really great happened.  I got a message from someone on here that really helped me feel better.  Thank you Ami so much.
This morning on the way to work I was thinking.  Lets say for the sake of argument that im wrong.  She isn't in Florida with another man.  That all I know is wrong and its all innocent.  I know its not but lets just say im wrong.
That means at the most difficult time in her children's life she decides to take 3 weeks away from them when they need their parents the most.  I have found my youngest crying in his room with the lights off.  She has not spoken to my oldest in a month.  God knows why.  Guilt, remorse?  Who knows.
So if you look at both sides of the coin she is either an adulteress or a selfish self centered mother.  Both don't look so good huh? 
So before I took a shower this morning I felt a strong urge to get on my knees and prayed for forgiveness for myself and strength for my kids.  I don't know what it is about opening myself to God but that is when the tears start to flow.  I felt better afterword and that's a good thing I guess. 
Thanksgiving is coming up and I have the boys.   We all rank second to her new love but that's just fine by me.  I am going to give the boys a great thanksgiving and we are going to have fun. 
Im praying for everyone that unfortunately ends up on this site.  I thought the journaling was dumb but it really helps and maybe it helps others as well.
Have a great day