I REALLY DON'T CARE...
I've been posting it for a while...I don't care about anything...don't have any feelings...but today...today, I've come to the realization that I really don't care about anything....
My 94-year old mother fell and broke her hip...while in the hospital she was diagnosed with high functioning dementia...she is currently in a health-care/rehab facility...and she just isn't her-self...apparently I lost my mother that day she fell...
Now...I don't know what to do...and honestly, I don't care...
Yesterday, my son turned 20...he's a good kid, well young man...going to school, trying to get a job, and just enjoying life...He's great, and I love him and want the best for him of course...but ...I just don't care....
Last night...my husband, an addict, didn't come home...well...he did at 2 or 3 in the morning, to pick up his laptop and take care of his business...that's what he said when I asked him what he was doing...I didn't care....I don't care....
Today, well today, I went to pick up my son from church and take him to his aunts house (that is where he stays)...then I went to pick up something to eat and headed home...
When I got to my street...my husbands truck was in the driveway and he was climbing the fence to break into my house...I double locked the door when I left cause I didn't want him comeing in!!!!....
Well he broke out a panel on the front window, and when that didn't work...he jumped the fence...pulled the AC window unit out and broke into my house...
Then...then he told me his stupid sob story...which I don't believe...and won't do anything I ask...I asked him to leave and he said would but that he was tired...and he knew I was mad...I told him...I was beyond mad...I'm not mad....I don't care...I don't care about anything....
I do...but I don't...I am pissed off that he broke into my house...but I don't care enough to yell at him...kick him out...argue with him...I just don't care...I don't care about anything...
You see...the way I see it...right now, my life is spinning out of control...and I can't get control of anything...and if I can't control it...it's because I don't know what to do...and if I don't know what to do...I am not in control...and if I am not in control...I don't care...
I don't care about anything...nothing...I just don't care!
My 94-year old mother fell and broke her hip...while in the hospital she was diagnosed with high functioning dementia...she is currently in a health-care/rehab facility...and she just isn't her-self...apparently I lost my mother that day she fell...
Now...I don't know what to do...and honestly, I don't care...
Yesterday, my son turned 20...he's a good kid, well young man...going to school, trying to get a job, and just enjoying life...He's great, and I love him and want the best for him of course...but ...I just don't care....
Last night...my husband, an addict, didn't come home...well...he did at 2 or 3 in the morning, to pick up his laptop and take care of his business...that's what he said when I asked him what he was doing...I didn't care....I don't care....
Today, well today, I went to pick up my son from church and take him to his aunts house (that is where he stays)...then I went to pick up something to eat and headed home...
When I got to my street...my husbands truck was in the driveway and he was climbing the fence to break into my house...I double locked the door when I left cause I didn't want him comeing in!!!!....
Well he broke out a panel on the front window, and when that didn't work...he jumped the fence...pulled the AC window unit out and broke into my house...
Then...then he told me his stupid sob story...which I don't believe...and won't do anything I ask...I asked him to leave and he said would but that he was tired...and he knew I was mad...I told him...I was beyond mad...I'm not mad....I don't care...I don't care about anything....
I do...but I don't...I am pissed off that he broke into my house...but I don't care enough to yell at him...kick him out...argue with him...I just don't care...I don't care about anything...
You see...the way I see it...right now, my life is spinning out of control...and I can't get control of anything...and if I can't control it...it's because I don't know what to do...and if I don't know what to do...I am not in control...and if I am not in control...I don't care...
I don't care about anything...nothing...I just don't care!
Replies