I quit.
I feel like i'm drowning.. Like I'm falling apart on the inside and struggling to make sure I don't show it. Although I kind of wish someone would notice. I don't want to worry anyone though..
I just can't take the pain anymore. I literally CANNOT do it anymore. I have no motivation to do anything. I feel as if I could just stay in this bed for another year or so when I start feeling better.. I cry all the time now. I used to be strong, independent.. Now I'm just falling to pieces and can't do anything anymore. There's just no point in trying. I'm done constantly pushing myself. I have for months, but now I just want to put my life on hold for once. I can't keep up with school, with relationships, with anything really, when I have to force myself to get out of bed every day.
The syrinx pain is spreading, my neuropathy is worse than ever, I'm getting IIH headaches again, and I have mono and the flu on top of it all.
I JUST WANT A FUCKING BREAK.
For once in my life.
Please.
I can't do it anymore.. I can't.
I just can't take the pain anymore. I literally CANNOT do it anymore. I have no motivation to do anything. I feel as if I could just stay in this bed for another year or so when I start feeling better.. I cry all the time now. I used to be strong, independent.. Now I'm just falling to pieces and can't do anything anymore. There's just no point in trying. I'm done constantly pushing myself. I have for months, but now I just want to put my life on hold for once. I can't keep up with school, with relationships, with anything really, when I have to force myself to get out of bed every day.
The syrinx pain is spreading, my neuropathy is worse than ever, I'm getting IIH headaches again, and I have mono and the flu on top of it all.
I JUST WANT A FUCKING BREAK.
For once in my life.
Please.
I can't do it anymore.. I can't.
Replies
I would too Em. It sounds really shitty right now. It really hard for anyone who has what your have. I wish I could take away the pain and sickness. I have a dear friend who has what you have. Right now she has pnemonia and is on oxygen. I wish that they could do something to handle you pain. I don\'t understand why any one else doesn\'t write you comments. I care very much. I know how it life to have a unnormal childhood. although my pain came later. I am so glad you let your self vent. you need it. I will continue to pray for you. I don\'t know why these things happen . I not sure if we get choices in our lives and it really is unfair. Please try and get better. Illnesses and see if you can feel stronger.
Thank you for the prayers