I pushed him away

my boyfriend leaves in a few days and I cant stop the panic attacks long enough to enjoy the little time I have left with him.  I have had a racing heart and on and off panic attacks for the past 2 days.  He hasnt been very helpful.  Just told me I amd going to die young and I'm being selfish.  
I just want him to understand I am going to miss him and am scared to have him go.  But I am just pushing him away.  I feel like he hates me.  He gets to walk away from dealing with my panic but I have to live with it.