I NO WORK NO MORE

OK, I had taken a job and was hopeful that it would work even with my health.  I'd not tried working since becoming disabled, so I gave it a shot. 1st week was full-time and I about died .... literally.  Spoke to my boss and she was kind enough to let me try part-time.  Had such a severe episode on Wed. 4-13, I thought I was going to have to call hubby to come get me. Still, it about killed me but wouldn't give up.  This is the point you may feel free to scream at the screen, "STUPID"! and I will totally understand. Finally, I prayed "Lord, if this isn't your will and you know the future, shut the door so it can't be opened and I won't make a mistake of staying." When you are disabled, you're lost.  You're mind is still good but your body is in effect a prison and a cruel one at that, with unending pain, etc.  Your mind wants that job, wants that feeling of accomplishment, wants the knowing that something is being accomplished and you are part of the working world. Well, 04/19/2011, I was let go.  They loved my work but part-time wasn't a possibility as it required full-time.  My body just won't do it...I can't.  At least I now know I am not lazy (I was thinking I was) and truly my body didn't magically get "all better" from not working since 2005. I thank God for slamming the door and as soon as I quit the nose bleed from the door hitting me in the face (big grin), I will rejoice.  He's got something better for me and now is my season for waiting.