i need to write about some feelings.

Hi angel friends, i'm feeling very upset about something, and i need to write. i'm feeling very bad, as it takes a lot to really hurt my feelings, but sometimes it can happen. 

i have an issue, with some support, and encouragement not being appreciated, and it really has hurt me . i love writing, sharing, and sometimes i know, support, encouragement, can be not taken right, and it often can lead to us feeling sad, and bad about things. i've been here on DS for over 15 years, and i try my best each day to sign on ,whether i'm well or not, i love being able to write to friends, sharing, supportive, helpful, and encouraging, sharing in the days. 

something has bothered me a great deal this morning ,and i need to write about it. a friend wrote me yesterday, and i wrote them back, about some things, and they replied in a not so friendly way, and it's made me feel very sad, and upset. the friend was being corrective, and too perfect, which sometimes can affect me, as i often will give my hopeful support, i'm a very encouraging and hopeful person. friend wrote me about some situations, and i wrote back in a very hopeful way, of support, which i always do here on DS. the friend corrected me, and made me feel bad. i was being encouraging to the friend, and hoping to give hope, as the friend has a good opportunity, and the friend wrote me back, about a meeting, and i was being hopeful, that maybe the friend would get their job back, as mandates are being lifted, and i thought, maybe since the friend misses their job, maybe they would be able to get their job position back, the friend corrected me, saying "i never said my hours were gonna be offered", and then another situation ,the friend accomplished some cleaning, organizing, and i wrote "i'm very happy you enjoyed finishing up doing some cleaning and organizing", which is a  good feeling of accomplishing things, even though i absolutely know, it's not always enjoyable having to do cleaning, and organizing ,i was thinking of the good feeling of accomplishing chores. the friend kinda rudely said, "i never said i enjoy cleaning and organizing", which was another thing that hurt me. no thank you, at all, for being supportive, or encouraging, or  giving hope. there's better ways to word things, and to  make someone feel appreciative.

i also am upset this friend made me feel bad last year, for sending birthday gifts, to the point where i felt actually bad, for having been  generous as i heard for days,"wish you didn't send gifts", but then thanked other friends for giving gifts, and i'm like, "hey, i feel like i got lectured here about gift giving. i love to give gifts, the pandemic's been hard, and i feel joy in gift giving the best i can, during these times. i have friends who have passed away over the years, friends  from DS, who i wish, with all of the love of my heart, that i could still write too, and still send gifts too, but can't because they've passed away, and these days when i do give gifts, i give it with a lot of love in my heart for friendship joy. i have gifts, cards, right on display here in my writing area, from friends who have passed, gifts, treasures i cherish and still read their notes. i shouldn't feel bad about giving gifts. this is wrong ,and not how friends are supposed to make friends  feel. i'm human, i'm not a robot, and i have feelings. i feel very hurt, as i was trying to be supportive, encouraging, and hopeful, and i don't think it's right, to be made to feel bad. i do, and i'm very sad that i have to write about this here, but i need support, as this has rattled me. sometimes enough is enough. i don't know why, sometimes, people just can't say, "thanks for your support", and not being so corrective. my feelings are hurt,and shouldn't be. i just don't think it's fair. i'm trying my best, and i love to keep up with everyone, and i'm  good friend, i try my best to be the best  friend i can be, and supportive, i love replying, and being helpful, and posting in my daily journal. i've been hurt about this, and don't feel its very fair. if someone was supportive of me, with my situations ,the last thing i would do, would be to upset that friend, to make them feel bad for being supportive. all i got to say about this, but my heart feels like it's gotten stomped on, when i get treated like this. it takes a lot, it really does, to make  me feel upset, and bad about things, i often will just not say anything, and move forward, but this pushed my button, and i'm not deserving of this correcting like this, i took my time, to put energy ,thoughtfulness, and care into my support for this friend, who i care about helping and encouraging. my nerves are rattled by this. in all my years here on DS, whenever anyone, friend, or just something writing, i've always gived thanks for their support and encouragement, and for giving me hope, and i certainly wouldn't want to correct in any way, to a point where that friend would feel bad. that's not in my heart. DS is about hope, support, encouragement, sharing, that's what it's always been about.

i'm sorry i  have to write this, but i feel  it's in my heart to do so. after all we went through last september, and almost not making it, all of us, who struggled to get our health back, one of the main things i wanted also, was to be able to support here on DS, and being there for friends again, and it's like a dream come true each day, being ablel to support in anyway. i talk with my mom ,and Holly, and they feel this friend was too not appreciative of me, when they could've been. i'm here for everyone, and always will be <3thank you angel friends, for understanding ,i don't even know if i'll keep this journal up, i just needed to write, and needed to share. my heart, and feelings are not a robot,  i'm human, and have feelings too. i'm a good friend, and deserved to be treated better by this friend. i'm hopeful too, i am, i just feel bad, this friend went too far in my heart, to be this corrective, and not appreciative of being helpful to them. it's like they knit picked things, to be corrective. i'm not like that, i'm gonna support, and appreciate 100% with my heart <3 this so rare, very extremely rare, where i was supportive, helpful, encouraging, and giving hope, and someone made me feel sad, and bad about it, like i wasn't good enough, and not perfect enough, whether with the support, encouragement, hopefulness, and being helpful enough, even though my heart knows it was good enough. i don't even expect a thank you, for giving support, encouragement, hope, i just don't don't want to be made feeling bad, for being helpful and encouraging in situations. i'm a hopeful person, and that's gotten me very far in life, with goals. i'm just stunned, and shocked, this one friend ,made me feel bad, and correcting me, without even appreciating that i was giving support, and encouragement with hope, i feel like the friend shouldn't have been like that.