I need to get a life.

I have no life, here in Maine. I moved up here from Rhode Island, where you can get anything you want within an hour, to rural Maine, in an old, falling down farmhouse with an old, falling barn attached to it. You see, I always wantd to have a gift shop of my own, and when the candle shop in RI failed, I decided to try again elsewhere. I found this property online, and there is a shop in the driveway. When I took a look at the place before I bought it, there were features that I thought were great, like a huge barn for storage of supplies, etc., and the shop, which was just the right size (18'x 18'), and my brother, who sells books on the internet would have alot of storage space. One of the lofts in the barn (15'x30') is finished, has windows, and would be a perfect "library" addition for storage of the books for sale. It seemed ideal, but hasn't turned out that way. Six months after I moved up here, my daughter asked me to adopt my grandaughter. Since I love the girl more than my own life, I agreed, but didn't anticipate the amount of work it was going to be just to get her here. I had to travel to RI (500+ mi. round trip) twice a month, while undergoing grueling interviews and attending a class in adopting/fostering children. It took 8 months before they let her come home with me, and another 8 1/2 months before the adoption became final.  I still travel to RI regularly, so that the girl can see her aunt, mother, greatgrandmother, and brother, who was also adopted.  But now, the trips are every month or two instead of every other week, but it still wears on me.  The girl came with alot of baggage, and there weren't many clothes in them. She is angry, defiant, and rude, at times, especially in public. It has taken 1 1/3 years to get her calmed down enough that she can go to the store with me and not cause a scene. We've made alot of progress, but I'm really tired right now, and having a bad day.  The girl was in a city school in Rhode Island and now she is in a small town school in rural Maine. She has made some friends, but also some enemies. When she isn't angry, she is the sweetest little girl I've ever known, and putting up with (and trying to correct) the bad behavior is definately worth the effort, but sometimes I am just so tired. I also cannot find a job, and the candle shop idea just isn't going to work. This area is very depressed, and the town seems to like it that way. The taxes are much higher up her, but the income is much lower. What few jobs there are pay much less than I was used to, but getting so much as an interview, let alone getting hired, is tough. I'm over 50, so getting hit by a bus would be easier than getting hired (same chances of finding a man). So, I sit here alone, trying to generate enough income to get by, and not quite making it. I have no friends in Maine and have lost touch with any friends I had in RI. I've been thinking that I need to live somewhere where it would be easier for me to make friends and find a job, which means moving closer to a city like Boston.  I like Boston. Really expensive, though. The longer I stay here the harder it gets. I don't like Maine as much as I used to. I definately don't like rural life. Neither does the girl. She keeps asking me to move closer to her aunt, who lives in Watertown. I wish that we could. Don't know how to go about that, though, because my brother depends on me and I don't want to let him down. But I have to have a life, too, and I cannot seem to get started here.