I need someone to talk to

Been trying for a baby since I was 16. I know that is a young age but I was and am in a stable relationship, engaged and desperate to be a mum. I have endometriosis, adhesions and cysts on my ovaries.. Waited 6 years for my laparoscopy and now I've had it I'm still in pain :( ..  They keep pushing my appointment, that I don't even know what it's for, back.. They may have to do another laparoscopy because they didn't remove everything last time.. Or they may put me and my partner through IVF..  The doctors keep telling me I have a 10% chance, then a 50% chance, then no chance at all, then I'm fine and then a 15% chance. I can hardly hold my niece because every time I do, I am fighting back tears because I want my own little baby and she reminds me of what I may never have. I see everyday girls of all ages that do drugs and sleep around and find themselves pregnant not wanting the baby and still doing drugs while carrying their baby or drinking and going out and it makes me so angry. I am in a stable relationship, I don't do drugs, I don't drink or do anything except want a baby with my fiancé  Why is it so difficult? :'( . I am in constant pain with my ovaries to the point where I have to get help moving. I have BPD as well so often find myself feeling down because of it. I've cried, I've begged the doctors to help me, I've prayed.. Nothing.. :'( ..