I need helppp... :(

So I have a bunch of crap going on in my life but some weeks there are some things that are worse than others. This week has apparently driven me to madness about my insane confusing love life that I’m constantly in tears about even though I’m with my dream bf and shouldn’t have ANYTHING at all to be upset about. Well, ok I have a lot of shit to be upset about. My last journal and post were about one person in my ‘love’ life, and I’ll explain why I put ‘’ in just a sec.

So this first guy happened before I realized I bisexual, but I was 13. It’s been over a year since I left him and I’m so upset STILL but I shouldn’t be. He was 30, and it was illegal but I loved him and it’s been really hard lately. Especially since I’m in love with two other people....

So I was in a relationship for two months that ended about a week and a half ago with a girl named Alexa. She had to go to Florida for two months, and a couple days after she left, we called eachother at the same time and decided to take a break since we’d both had bad experience with LDR. 

Not even 8 hours after that, I met an angel at a party he’s so amazing and so kind and sweet and he’s a model and he’s just an angel doesn’t even describe him. He asked to be my bf and I said yes but he had to go back to St. Louis cause he wasn’t just visiting the area for his cousins birthday. 

So I broke up with my gf (whom I still love) because I didn’t want to be in another ldr, only to get into another ldr with another person who I’m in love with. But I’m also struggling so much lately not to reach back out to Michael, (31 year old :(...) because I miss him so much but idk why I do cause he doesn’t deserve it but I feel awful for saying he doesn’t deserve it and I just need help so bad cause idk what to do about my 2 current relationships (cause my ex gf still loves me too she texts me everyday) and I’m so confuseddddddddd AHHHH