I need help
Today is my first day, Im not sure what to write. I feel terrible, this is about a part of myself but it is also about her. I would do anything for her, I would. But for some reason I keep lying and hurting her. I want to stop. I will see a therapist, I will go to the 12 step program, because one more slip up and she will leave me. This is not about being alone, it's about losing her. I cannot allow that. One day she will look at me and see a future, and see happiness, and see honesty because that is all I want in life.
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1 week in, Most of this time has been good, I had a bad night last night and day today just stressing. It has been hard at times, but I have been sharing openly with my girlfriend and she has been very supportive. I started going to emotions anaonymous meetings and will go again tonight. I feel better now. I have been very stressed with my lack of work and some stress involving my father but I feel like I am handling it well.