I need help
After almost 6 months sobriety I learned the ex is with someone. I just bought a fifth of whiskey and I'm sitting on my deck on this beautiful day with a drink I haven't drank yet. But I'm so miserable and already crying because I know where this is going. I know this is not where I want to be but I can't stop it now. I need to do this to see how shitty I'm going to feel in the morning but this stupid emotional pain is worse I just know this is the worst mistake I've made. I'm sorry to everyone and my kids but I'm at the end I think ..it's like what's the fucking point after 24 years to be put out like the trash when I paid for everything and covered all her shit and trips to Disneyland and the ocean always in penthouse suites and to be left for some loser who makes a little above minimum wage. Fucking life does not make sense at all it's just a fucking mirage and commitments don't mean shit. And this age of Facebook and connecting online is killing relationships it's giving partners a look over the fence like the grass is greener but it's fucking not but the illusion is more real. I give up this is bullshit
Replies
Don\'t do this. Do you have friends? Call someone, anyone, just to talk. Get out of the house and go to a friends house, neighbor\'s house. Go see a movie. I\'m about to go out to see a movie by myself. I don\'t know how you feel about books but find a good motivational self help book and it can change your whole mood. She\'s not worth this. You have no idea what\'s wrong the corner. It seems impossible to imagine now but she might have done you a huge favor as the most amazing woman of your dreams might be a couple months away. Don\'t let her have this power over you. She\'s getting what she deserves. Guarantee it won\'t last long and she\'ll be begging you to come back. By then you need to have yourself together so you can tell her to F off! :) You can do this, I promise. hugs
Hey man, I hope you haven\'t taken a drink yet!! She\'s not worth it, and it will only cause more problems to creep up. I\'m right there with you. Been seperated for two months, she started seeing another guy a month ago and introduced our kids to HIM TODAY!!!! Nothing like rushing into everything, I don\'t fucking understand just like you probably don\'t. But you helped me out last night when I was really down so it\'s my turn to return the favor. Don\'t give up your sobriety for her, it\'s completely not worth it, you are better than that, if you drink you are just giving her control again. You can do so much better than her and that!!! Don\'t do it.
Hey Coope. Don\'t do it Buddy. Don\'t let her win, and if you take a drink that is what you are doing. You are a great guy and you will find that peace again with someone, but don\'t do something you will regret. I know, regret is a bad feeling.
I agree with Agent Smith, can you go to a movie or maybe even a sport bar and just order soda or something. I know at sports bar there are a bunch of men watching games and talking shit. It will be fun for you to do that.
Just don\'t take that drink Coope. What about your daughter, maybe you can hang out with her and hit a movie or just drive around and talk.
HANG IN THERE (( HUGS))
Oh Coop. I\'m so sorry you\'re suffering so. She\'s not worth it. You\'ve been working so hard for the last six months. Yes, it\'s unfair that you gave so much and she left. Haven\'t you suffered enough? Why punish yourself? She\'s going to realize what a good thing she lost in time. Even if she doesn\'t love you, you need to love yourself. You should be focused on being as healthy and positive as you can so that you can be open to the possibilities. I know how hard it is to believe that the future is bright. I struggle with it everyday but as the saying goes, God doesn\'t close a door without opening a window. It will get better. I promise. In the meantime feel free to message me anytime you need to talk.
Coop..you are such a nice guy..one of the best..you are always there for everyone and you are so sympathetic. I know people that feel deeply, like us, and are genuine, genuinely get hurt by others sometimes. I, too, call BULLS**t on modern media making it so easy to cheat..it\'s so spineless and lacks integrity. The grass is not greener and two people who are married and share a life and honor each other is a beautiful thing, but she didn\'t value that anymore. Here is the thing. You were in one relationship..and she was in another..you were in different relationships together. You will find a woman to appreciate what you do, love you the way you need. You are a good man....and someone is out there for you. All is not lost. Don\'t go down that path. You will wake up tomorrow and be so glad you resisted. Please message me if you ever need to.
Coop sorry you are so down I hope you can find the strength to not give in. You have worked so hard these last months, she definately doesn\'t deserve you nor does she deserve having this control over you, she is not worth the pain and regret you\'re headed for. My heart is breaking for you and I feel your pain. if nothing else, just go to bed. the weekends are so hard for us, I never thought I would welcome Mondays but now I do. Please remember YOU matter , don\'t let her win this one. I am sending you positive thoughts and big hugs.
Coop we are all here if you need to chat. Don\'t take that drink. This breakup stuff is just bull shit how people make us feel. We all know the pain you are going thru Coop just hang in there and don\'t take that drink. To bad you are not a eater like me. I would be on my way to get a pie and ice cream ( I hope that made you smile) hang in there Coop
ok...thanks to everyone, really sincerely. My mom died on July 2nd..I really lost my support there...it was minimal because of her drinking but when she was sober it was real.
I had that drink. I called my brother to come pick up the fifth if he wants it.
I am at a total loss. I sacrificed everything to keep my kids and wife comfortable. After the downturn in 2008 I sold my Mustang GT I owned outright from a couple years prior just to keep the status quo and keep everyone comfortable. That year my ex called me crying when I was with our son, she was distraught over Christmas, and I got the funds someway, somehow and just handed them to her, and said cover the kids. Just cover the kids and well be ok. She seemed so grateful. And for what? She ups and leaves me and my daughter for some idiot making minimum wage. I just cant wrap my head around this. I know I have faults. Who doesn\'t? Initially I was open to reconciliation but now I cant see it. Ive been literally destroyed. I dont think its possible and that tears me up. She left me at my worst, but Ive always bounced back. Self employment is a risky deal, but the good times can be really good times. Now shes hitched her star to some idiot that will never make shit. Ive closed (2) projects last week and have another one Im waiting on the signed contracts on this week. I have alot to offer still. I think its just being disposed of like that after Ive really given everything I have to keep everyone housed and fed and with cable and whatever else they wanted no matter how bad it was at the time. Ive always found a way.
Thats what drags me down. Yeah it was bad the last 2-3 years, I admit that. But she couldnt/wouldnt wait it out and now shes gonna be stuck and I cant help her anymore and that hurts me, because I always helped her because I loved her. I wouldve done anything for her, but it wasnt enough. I always did what I had to do, we never ever faced foreclosure or water shut off or any of that shit. And for what? Now Im alone, and maybe it is for the best, but it hurts. I thank everyone for their support here. I read so much online about husbands leaving their wives but it really happens the other way too. And us guys hurt too.
Thanks everyone.
I am so sorry you are hurting so bad. Please send me a message and we can chat. You will get thru this. I know it hurts like hell. Please don\'t drink. I know you want to numb the pain but it will not solve anything. Just don\'t give up. You are a good person. She is the one that is toxic and she just wants to drink and be with a loser. Let her and you live your life and please don\'t let her destroy your life. Don\'t give her that kind of power. I know you are hurting so bad...I totally get that and I am so sorry. Please reach out for help and know that you are not alone. (((Hugs))) Message me anytime. You will get thru this....believe it or not you will.
Sometimes there is no logical reason why these people choose to downgrade because 99.999% of the time that\'s what they do. You were with her for 24 years, and that\'s your adult life. So it\'s a huge change and a great loss. But not everything you lose is a loss. Sometimes it\'s a blessing. It\'s difficult, but you have made it this far. Keep busy and continue to build your business. Continue to make goals and work towards them. When she creeps up in your head, say not now bitch, be gone! Some days are worse than others, but trust that good days are ahead. Again, there is no logical reason these people choose to downgrade, so don\'t even try to figure it out because I don\'t think Einstein could. Chin up, and let that anger and sadness be a fuel to develop something positive. You got this!
OMG I love Transition73 quote \" Not now bitch be gone!!!) So true So true.
I do agree that when every door closes a new one opens. The pain is waiting for the new one to open at times but it will open again Coop. And you dont see it now but you are a good guy and there are so many women out there looking for that.
Look at that article I sent out a few months ago there is a section on there about rebound relationship. And that is what this is. Rebound and they dont last .
She will have regrets one day and when she does it will be to late. Hang in there
Thanks butterfly and transition for ur support :)
Well that was a miserable weekend I gotta do better :(
Too much thinking and wallowing over here. Gotta step it up.
Thanks all
You post was really upsetting. I felt all your pain, the emotions you were feeling. I am very proud of you, only one drink, which could of turned in to the whole bottle. But you got control of yourself and held it together. You have sacrificed a lot to hold your family together as long as you did, but no it is time to start living for yourself also. Your a good dad in more ways than one. Keep working on your projects, accomplishing all that you can. While doing that and be there for the kids you also need to find something that will make you happy at same time. One day our lives will become easier, we will get through each day a little stronger than the day before. We have to have that faith. Smile and remember you are a positive figure in your kids lives.