i miss him soooo much :(

As I post the pic here on the site I feel so sad. I feel like I am in a dream that I can not wake up from. Then I go and look at what I posted and bam here comes the tears. I just miss him so much today. Ben is my only son. I know that he is in a better place but darn I want him here with me. Ben was borrowing his friends streetbike for the day. His friend needed his truck. He never would turn down a friend who was in need. He had just gotten his M1 liscence (but he never told me that he did) and wanted to get a bike. The cost of gasoline here in Ca. is over 3.50 a gallon and he was going to college and working and so frustrated with the cost of living. So he wanted a bike. Of course Mom said no way... Well on Oct 27 he came by to show me that he could drive this streetbike and wasn't it so nice??? My heart sank I was covered in paint as I was painting my front door that day or else I would have ran after him and pleading with him to please take the bike back and use my yukon. He had the bigest smile ever on his face. He was so glad that he was riding that bike. He lost control when he hit a manhole at night and never made it to the hospital. From what I have heard his helmet flew off as he hit the retaining wall. I couldn't believe my baby was gone. I cry for his sister everday. She has no friends she is so lonely. She needs a wheelchair for safety and as you can imanigne kids shy away from other kids that are "different" she is a beautiful girl inside and out. It seems like I have been crying 15 years for my Sara. But I know that God does and will accomplish the work he has for her. My life is a rollercoster. I found out 2 years ago that my hubby has Hep c as well. We have no clue how he got it... so my life goes on. I know that other's have it worse than I do. So I want to lift up anyone I can in prayer to bless and be blessed. I know my son would have done the same. He was always the one to give good consul to those who needed it. My son the hero of all his friends...My prayer is that they focus on the only one and true Hero and that is their Saviour Jesus. This is what I live for now. To run my race and to compleat it to hear my Lord say well done my good and faithful servent.Love you allDebi