I Miss You

   There are sharp corners and pointy things EVERYWHERE these days... I thought I was getting over this part in my life but I guess not. I really don't want to relapse. I'm so sick of hiding my scars. My mom got me bio-oil which is something that removes scars and strechmarks. I never cut very deep execpt for a few times so you can hardly see them at all. To tell you the truth, I miss my scars. I don't know why.
  Ugh... I miss the release after cutting. Taking that deep breath in the girls bathroom at school or in the back of my closet when I'm done. Pulling, ripping apart my skin. Feeling my whole body on fire. Feeling pretty. I would always have a certain glow after I cut. It was the craziest thing... I just seemed beautiful when I looked in the mirror right after.
  I sort of miss the secrecy too. It was like my own personal love affair. I've never had one with a person. I won't let myself. Or, more like no one is coming to me.
  Okay... Here comes the 'why doesn't anybody want me?' speech... I'm smart. I'm pretty. I'm funny. I have nice boobs. I'm a little weird but I'm a good weird. I'm the whole package. Why doesn't anyone want me? I just want a tall, handsome boy with nice teeth to just come out of nowhere and fall in love with me. I want warm arms around me. I don't want to fall asleep alone anymore. I need love.
  Anyways, enough feeling sorry for myself on the romance topic... I just had a few things on my mind. So, I guess this was rant numer one.