I messed up again......

I messed up again last nite....I had 10 dollars in my pocket was gonna just play for fun...then it turned out I went to about 200 in cash adavance from my credit card.  So it was a bad idea from the start just going to the damn casino.  Sighhh....I thought I was doing so good especially I thought...hey I only relapsed once...I can do this...now am doing it again.....so I got to start all over again.  This is such a vicious cycle.  I felt like crap everytime I go to the casino....the people, the atmosphere, the smoke, what is so entertaining about that.  The fact that I just give my hard earned money two hands to the damn indian casino where they don't give a f==== about my life or who I am.  This has got to stop but I feel the more I relapse I get....the better my chances of recovery...I think...just for today I will not gamble....it's a choice I made and must dedicate and follow through if I want to get through this mess....