I made it through the rain

Sometimes life is like a good song. When I hear "i made it through the rain" by Barry Manolow (sp) I feel like he is singing about me. I have had time to reflect about the death of one of our students, and I have realized that I can relate to the loss of child and brother. I know what they are going through because I have been through it. My world was shattered but I am still here. My faith was tested but I still believe. I will never forget, but I am also moving on with my life.  I have also realized that there are many storms to weather in life...just remember to bring an umbrella. I was so dreading today...I thought last year around this time I would be so pregnant and happy, expecting our first child in June. Instead I am not pregnant and a little sad however today was not as bad as I thought. There were not alot of reminders about mother's day. It was like someone or something made sure that the impact of knowing that I am not a mom was minimized today. I did however honour my mother and grandmothers today. I am so lucky to have such wonderful and powerful role models in my life. When I do become pregnant again and give birth to a child, I want to make sure that I am like them. I was little sad this morning after my day one of cycle monitoring. The nurse called me to let me know that I do not have to go in tomorrow. I did ask the Ultrasound person before I left the clinic if there was a follicle, and she did tell me no, but there are a lot of ovums ready to form....can they really tell that? Perhaps clomid is not working for me like the Letrozole did. I am so scared that I am not producing viable eggs. Ihave to keep calm and stress free if this is going to work.Well tomorrow most of my questions will be answered when I see the specialist. I have to remember to ask if I have an incompenent cervix. I want to make sure that I can carry a baby to term. My M/C was so unusal that I want to make sure that it will never happen again.Here is to TTC again...If I keep positive and pray anything can happen.