I made it through one more tough night

Last night was bad. I cried til I could cry no more. He's texting someone new and it hurts so bad. I cried and screamed and punched pillows like a crazy person and tried to conjure all the bad, all the hurt, all the things he has done to me.

I fought so hard to not text him and it was gut wrenching. I wanted to puke. Sometimes, I become physically Ill from this. But as I sobbed, i prayed and I knew I could do this. I said, "just let me get through this night without calling him and maybe tomorrow I can too". It was hard. My eyes are a puffy mess this morning but I did it. I did not call him. I did not text him. And just that is something to be proud of.