I Made It

What a sad day yesterday but I did better then I thought.I took a rose for his 1 year.Stayed quite awhile talked and cried.It was beauitful out there.I had to get my feelings in order Rebecca had her spring party it's her last one she will be in 7th grade.She never did go to the cematary I honestly think she is scared she won't let  her feelings out very will.She see death differently me I'm a basket case.Her friend Andera sent her some flowers on Justin's death she said she's there for her if she needed someone to talk to.Very,very sweet girl.I want to thank everyone for the hugs and prayers and just thinking of me.I very much needed that.I have know idea were my life is taking me.It's sad to have a baby raise it the best you know how and a blink of a moment they are gone.My Justin death was i believe wasn't  suppose to happen as I'm sure everyone thinks that.It was the drugs,he was happy,healthy,and full of life.And a drug called methadone killed him.People say they don't think he knew what it was.I have a name  Liz Polsen but can't find her They put her in rehab and moved to Springfield she goes to Glendale High School.I'll never find her but she knew what she done and I hope she has nightmares they will haunt her the rest of her life. I did all the Easter baskets today sure missed making one for Justin I made Braden one but he won't get it until next weekend.Alicia took him to the cematary yesterday he seen the picture of them and was a little confused.he said he thought his daddy was in heaven.She tried her hardest I talked to him later and said I seen Justin's head I think he was trying to say his headstone.   I was reading a book and came across this:Knowing that God cares doesn't take the hurt away,but it does make the hurt bearable.I belive that I have it above my sink I see it everyday.Why God took are children away we may never know until we see them again.Like I said thanks for everyone who thought af me.Love and Hugs,jfm24,Vicki