I'm the fool, No Joke

Another day... and I let my negative side get the better of me. Why is it when I don't feel very positive, that I want to really make myself feel even worse?
I have to make up my mind, do I want to keep on gambling and losing my sanity and my soul, or do I want to quit, I can't keep waffling back and forth.
Its funny in a very sad way that I recognize the irony of saying "this place is full of losers" and yet I choose to go to that place myself.
I can tell myself I am willing to risk and I am fine if I lose, but who am I kidding, do I really enjoy losing that much?
 
April Fools... I AM the fool