I'm still "Me"
A few weeks after Chuck died, I went to see my Mom. She has been a widow for 8 years, having lost my Dad in 2002. She gave me some advice saying, "A man doesn't make who you are. You are still you." I have struggled with this at times since Chuck's death.
Yes, I am still "Me", but Chuck and I had become "one". I miss having my "other half" being included in decisions and life's experiences. It's taking some getting used to being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. For 33 years, someone was part of what I did. I'm working hard on becoming a "solo" person, but at the same time honor and remember Chuck.
The end of May, I planted our window boxes that we have had on our front window for a few years. Chuck always helped me get the dirt in them and back on the braces. (We take them off for the winter). I almost felt guilty planting them, because I enjoy doing gardening and this was enjoyable. They are beautiful this year, partly because of the high humidity we have had. I'm glad that I found the emotional strength to plant them. One of my neighbors across the street told me that she was glad that I had planted them.
There are other interests that I would like to get back into. I have to tell myself that it is OK to do the things that bring me pleasure, because I'm still "Me."
Rest peacefully my soulmate....Nancy
Yes, I am still "Me", but Chuck and I had become "one". I miss having my "other half" being included in decisions and life's experiences. It's taking some getting used to being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want. For 33 years, someone was part of what I did. I'm working hard on becoming a "solo" person, but at the same time honor and remember Chuck.
The end of May, I planted our window boxes that we have had on our front window for a few years. Chuck always helped me get the dirt in them and back on the braces. (We take them off for the winter). I almost felt guilty planting them, because I enjoy doing gardening and this was enjoyable. They are beautiful this year, partly because of the high humidity we have had. I'm glad that I found the emotional strength to plant them. One of my neighbors across the street told me that she was glad that I had planted them.
There are other interests that I would like to get back into. I have to tell myself that it is OK to do the things that bring me pleasure, because I'm still "Me."
Rest peacefully my soulmate....Nancy
Replies
What a wise woman your mother is! This is one piee that I will remember. Sometimes I feel as I need permission to try to move on because it feels like I am not respecting my husband. This is the cross road that I am at now. I enjoy our children and grands, but to seek pleasure outside of the family seems wrong. I don\'t engage in social activities because of that reason and also the fact that I feel I will always be thinking of my Sam or comparing everything from a look to a comment.
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Really enjoyed reading your post. It is ok to miss your husband, in fact it is healthy for you. Blessings to you and much love!!
xoxox
sharon
Thankyou for your kind comments. So glad you enjoying reading my entry. Yes, my mom is wise. I would like to think I also have some wisdom.
Yes you are a very wise woman !
Enjoy your day
xoxox
Wise comment, most of our mothers are/were very wise. Mine had to go through a lot over the years, but faced all the tragedies in her life with a respect for God, for life, her family and herself. She was one strong, wise woman as your mother seems to be. I\'m sure her daughter is too. :-) Good post. Hugs, Joely