I\'m still here just a new person

Since my last entry in here last year, I have been doing a lot of soul serching and being happy. I don't let a lot of things bother me anymore. I told people who would always pist me off to leave me alone and don't start crap with me. I just got so tired of it that it was dragging me downhill and it was tearing my relationship apart. So I fixed that and now I'm happier and hopefully moving on with a great life. I had a baby on Christmas Eve and dispite with the problems that I was having it has help be relize that there is more in life besides jerks. I know a couple of them.  Anyways. The man that I'm with now has always treated me with respect and doesn't care what happen in the past. He knows that I dont want to talk about and he is fine with that. He knows some parts of it but that is it. As long as they don't come between us I"m happy with that. There for awhile we were only seeing each other on weekends and sometimes a day durning the week but now with our son we see each other just about everyday. He sleeps in the afternoon so that doesn't count. We have a very healthy relationship to where our kids always comes first then us. We have only gone out on a date once and that was to a dinner that his work was having other than that its only been at the bowling alley with our son and my other children.   I don't think that I can ask for anything more. I haven't been this happy in a long time and now i'm just taking it slow and care what everyone else says. I'm at the point that I care less if I get remarried. My other 3 children loves him to death and enjoys them when he can. With our work schudules its hard but we have manage this far and will continue to do us. We usually have time to talk to and laugh with each other after the kids go to bed.  Some one told me that your spouse should always be first then kids. Not in our books. I've been getting my life back in order and hoping one day that my exhusband will stop being so rude to me and let me have my boys back again. The way that its suppose to be. I still sit here and cry at nights when they are not here and my other two are. My 2 year old has to look at pictures everyday to see his brothers and gets to talk to them maybe once a week. He only gets to see his brothers 3 days a month. It really puts a damper on my two older one really bad and there dad doesn't see it that way.  My ex-husband still has to know on what goes on at my house. To me thats known of his business since we are not married anymore. I don't think that I would relive my married days as it was going down hill. I hope that one day we can sit down and talk about the reasons behind us getting a divorce and hopefully move on without anymore fighting and with him not hanging up on me. We talked a little bit about it. I think that we found some points that we agreed on us and the divorce.  My new life has been great. We would joke around a lot and tease each and still have fun together with the time that we have. He works graveyards and I work days. There is times that I feel that we just need to get a way with no kids. But with everything that we got going on kids are important to us. Back in November and December of 2008. We had some probelms. He was having problems seeing at night and it worried me to death. I know that he said that he was okay and I believed him. We joked around a lot about that and still do today. Thankfully that he got his vision corrected and can see straight again. (DAMN JK) Then our other problem was that we had a baby and my mom and I couldn't get him to wake up to let him know that I was on my way to the hospital. He went to his house and didn't here the phone ring until late. He was ending up going the wrong direction (going to work instead of the hospital) but he was there after the birth. After my mom explained that we had a son and that I barely got here in time. Sad part again that I went to work that moring on Christmas Eve. Go fig. So no drugs. That time it had brought us even closer today and I don't think I would change anything today about our large family.   So far tonight I'm leaving on a good note. That I'm happy again and I have a wonderful man that knows that life doesn't have to including fighting and getting upset about things.