I'm spinning out of control!
Lately I have become someone that I never was before. My emotions of crying and fighting are spinning my life out of control! My older daughter, Melany, has apologised to people a few times already for my rude behaviour. This is not how I want to be!!
Worst of all, Melany and I had such a horrible fight again yesterday, that she decided to move out! She found a small flat for herself and her little girl, and they are moving out on Saturday, on my granddaughter's 9 th birthday! I feel so horrible and wicked! It is a good thing that Melany is eventually going to stand on her own two feet, and accept responsibility for her own life and that of her daughter. I feel relieved about her moving out, but I also feel like the worst ever monster who drove her out! And that on my granddaughter's birthday! My life is one big mess, and I'm the manager of it all! My son came over to help sort out some of this chaos. I really appreciate it, because he is a calm, understanding and very wise person. But I am the mother, the one who is supposed to be there for my children. Instead I am the one out of control!! Damn, I am such a huge mess!
Worst of all, Melany and I had such a horrible fight again yesterday, that she decided to move out! She found a small flat for herself and her little girl, and they are moving out on Saturday, on my granddaughter's 9 th birthday! I feel so horrible and wicked! It is a good thing that Melany is eventually going to stand on her own two feet, and accept responsibility for her own life and that of her daughter. I feel relieved about her moving out, but I also feel like the worst ever monster who drove her out! And that on my granddaughter's birthday! My life is one big mess, and I'm the manager of it all! My son came over to help sort out some of this chaos. I really appreciate it, because he is a calm, understanding and very wise person. But I am the mother, the one who is supposed to be there for my children. Instead I am the one out of control!! Damn, I am such a huge mess!
Replies
Sweet Lady, you are not a huge mess. There are three things that God wants you to know right now. Write them down.
1. You are loved and cherished.
2. You have nothing to fear.
3. There is nothing you can do wrong.
Brand these words into your heart.
Hugs, Susan
You are not a mess. You are overwhelmed with everything that life has to offer at the moment. You more than likely need some precious sleep and time to yourself. Put your faith back into God. Willow has great ideas also HUGGS and love xoxoxo. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you, Willow and Sherri! My doctor gave me medication to calm me down, and he said I\'ve been under too much stress for too many years. I need a break, a holiday alone, but this is not possible. At least this new medication keeps my emotions minimized, so that my logical thinking can be clear again. I know that our Lord has a reason for everything that happens to us, and I believe that in the end everything will work out for the best. At least I made peace with my older daughter, Melany. She is still moving out to her own little flat, but we will still be there for each other. I feel much better about this arrangement now. My son came through to help me in this up-side-down time. With his wisdom and insight he managed to de-fuse this whole explosive situation. I thank God for blessing me with such an amazing son!!
I\'m glad things are smoothing over with your daughter but it is probably better for you all to have some space. Sometimes this added stress causes us to react to things in a way we are not happy but feel it is out of our control. This keeps us from living a productive and happy life. I\'m glad the doctor gave you something to help with the anxiety. I\'ve been on meds for 4 years trying to get a grip on things with my relationship with son and his wife. Sometimes, after doing all we can, we have to let it go and turn it over to God. He is in control and the only one that can help us through our trials and he knows our every need. So happy your son is a huge support to you...what a blessing you have in him! Hugs xxxx Bonnie