I\'m so tired of being here.

Well, it has been 6 weeks and I'm still sick.  I'm so tired of being sick.  It seriously depresses me.  Now not only do I not feel well, but I have been so sad and just tired of being "here".  Sometimes I think my life is such a waste, like what am I doing here?  I have been trying to be more healthy and lose weight.  I went to my weekly Weight Watchers meeting and gained 4 lbs.  How does someone even do that?  Last week I lost 4 lbs and this week I gained it all back.  I'm so mad and just disappointed with myself.  I sometimes just tell myself, why even try, you're going to be fat for the rest of your life.  I hate myself, I hate my body and the way it looks.  I wish I could just go away.  I'm so pathetic.  I sometimes wish I could just slip away without being noticed.