I\'m so thankful......
Yesterday was the American Thanksgiving and even though it was not Thanksgiving here in Canada I spent a lot of time yesterday thinking about all the things in my life I am so thankful for...there are just so many things...my marriage is all but over but that is okay...life goes on and another door opens. I am not a failure in anyway because it didn’t work out...time passes...people change..the person you were twenty years ago is not necessarily the person you are today. It’s not easy to walk away from hopes and dreams but it’s not easy to hold on to something that is no more either..living life day to day...just merely existing....that is not life! Life is a precious gift!! We have to make the most of our time here on earth cause we just never know when it will be over. Sometimes you have to take chances..you have to do what will make you happy...you have to stop trying to please everybody else. I have come to realize that my life does matter too!!! How sad it would be if my life were to end tomorrow and I went through it day to day just settling instead of making my time here on earth really count. I have two beautiful children who I absolutely adore...they have been there no matter what. We are so close..being a mom is by far the best thing in life. They both have grown into fine young adults in spite of the things they have gone through. They are both very independent, go-getters and far more outspoken then their mom. I admire that about them..I wish I had those qualities growing up but I was always shy, had little confidence and was always trying to please everybody else. I always strived to be the perfect daughter...the perfect student...the perfect friend....the perfect mom...the perfect wife and somewhere along the way I lost me in it all. I am far from perfect but that is okay, too..I have come to realize that I am who I am and if people don’t like me because of that then so be it...what can I do? I have a precious little grand daughter who has brought so much love and happiness into my life in the 10 1/2 months that she has been here. Her little smiles make my troubles seem so small..her hugs..her kisses..everything about her is beautiful. She spents most weekends with me and I look forward to that...I love being a grandma!! I still have my mom...I don’t get to see her near as much as I would like because of the distance but I am thankful to still have her with me...I am thankful for all the holidays we get to spend together and all the beautiful childhood memories and all the wonderful memories we continue to make. My Dad passed away in his sleep 8 years ago and I still miss him dearly but I know he is with me...I feel his love so strong especially when I am struggling...I talk to him a lot and I know he hears me. I know he is guiding me through life and even though he is not physically here on earth he is still here...I feel him!! A dad’s love doesn’t die just because he had to leave this earth...I will see him again..I believe that. He just had to go..God needed another angel and he got one of the best the day he called my Dad home!! I have five sisters..no brothers but lots of brother-in-laws. My sisters and I may not always see eye to eye on things but I love them dearly..I have a large family with lots of nieces and nephews and now great-nieces and nephews, too. When we all get together on the holidays it is so overwhelming...so much love and to think it all started because my mom and dad got together and gave us all life. I have my cat, Sassy, who was rescued from a puppy mill..she was on the verge of death when they rescued her. She was so scared when I brought her home...she always seemed so sad but in the time that I have had her she has come such a long way. I love to hear her purr when she snuggles up to me...I am so glad I was able to give her the life she deserved. That person who abused her didn’t get near what he deserved...how anybody could ever treat animals that way I will never understand. I have my friends here on DS who truly care about me...and that I am so thankful for...in the short time that I have been a member here I have met so many wonderful people who have touched my heart greatly. I have spent many nights without sleep worrying about some of them when they were facing troubles...I have grown to love them dearly. I have also cried when I thought I may have hurt one of them or said something that may have offended them...the last thing I ever want to do is hurt anybody. Everybody on my friend’s list hold a special place in my heart...there are a few that I have grown really close too...how nice it would be to someday meet these people face-to-face and to thank them for the difference they have made in my life! I want more then anything for them to find that happiness that they deserve. I could go on and on and on..I have my health, I have my job that I had for 20+ years, I have people who care about me...so many things to be thankful for...I could sit here and feel sorry for myself because things in my life are about to change or I can choose to focus on the positive, take the bull by the horns and move forward. I am choosing to fight for the life I deserve...I can’t blame anybody for where I am in my life today...I am where I am because of the choices I made and I will be where I am in the future because of the choices I am about to make...if I fall on my face I will pick myself up and keep moving forward...I may lose my way every now and then but I refuse to spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been...I will never know until I take those steps to make it happen.... But most of all I thank God for the life he has given me.....I have truly been blessed!!
Replies
I am BLESSED to have YOU! I love you dear one! xoxo
Bravo, what a lovely entry. You have touched me starting, you really have...I am thankful for a wonderful friend like you too. I too have pissed off people here and cried my eyes out to know that I have hurt them. I also know that they couldn\'t give a crap less that I cried so I deleted them as a friend - Hooray for Me!!! Life is a balance and you have it fine tuned my friend, God will bless you because you have a good heart, strong will are a good daughter/sister/friend/grandMum/Mom/person...Thanks for your entry and I am glad to know your Dad is there for you when you need him in heaven as an Angel looking over you. Kikoitosaka
Thank you for reminding us of our blessings. And ya know..... yes it\'s sad to give up on a dream of a worthwhile marriage, & all that entails, but what can be exciting is you have a brand new start, a new clean slate, & you carry w/ you all your newfound knowledge & wisdom, to help you make the best choices & to know early on, who is worth your love & time & who is NOT! There is a happy exciting time awaiting you. God has better & happier plans for you than you could ever imagine!!! Happy American Thanksgiving to you Startinanew! Wishing you much love & many blessings, ~s
Thank you ladies for your kind words...I was feeling good and positive yesterday but today not so much. The ups and downs are so hard to deal with..sometimes I wish I could just crawl under a rock and never come out again..I know I will get over this but for today I just want to stay in bed and cry. I love you ladies...you mean so very much to me!! xxoo
You know I got a piece of paper and wrote down on one side the \"Things That I Am Thankful For\" and drew a lie down the middle, and wrote \" Things That IN My Life I AM Sorry For.\" I was amazed at how many things that I am truly thankful for. Yes I do have 4 big items on the bad side. I did have 2 sons and a 1 step daughter die, and I have breast cancer (In remission(that goes on the other side!) I just kept writing and thinking, and I found that God has really blessed me greatky and with so many things. The loved ones I lost I will find again some day. I just know that God is good, and he has blessed me. In spite of my loss.I am a lucky woman. Love Peggy
How beautifully written.....I love you sweetie! x
Hugs for all of you ladies...I love ya all so much!! Some days are better then others but I keep moving forward knowing someway somehow all if this will work out!! I am a lucky lady and very thankful for all I have and especially for the love and support of my friends here!!
Love ya..xxoooo
Hi, I am a new friend but found your entry rang true for me in so many ways. I really feel like I have been sort of just existing and geting by these last few years, and I am on here, connecting with others that have made the decision to live life to the fullest- we get no do-overs. Everything in our lives has taught us something and led us to this point- I really believe that. I really sense your strength and determination to move forward. We all are going to have days we just are not doing as well, and that is Ok, it is real. Going through life with a forced smile and outlook of all roses is not really living either, Cause life is everything- the ups, downs and in betweens. Thanks for remiding me to focus on what I have in my life and to be grateful.