I'm sick of it!!!!

I'm sick of constantly thinking the worst in every situation. As some of you know I am in a long distance relationship and they take major trust, but here is me someone who has none zero and trying to struggle through everyday with these yoyo emotions of is he isn't he. I can't lie and say if he was here I would be better, because I have always doubted men near or far. But I love him with all my heart and this fear is killing me and my relationship. I try to control every situation to make myself feel better yet when that control is taken I go crazy and start thinking the worst. He has to report to me everywhere he goes, he has to have his phone switched on and taken with him, if he doesn't do any of these. I start fantising that he is cheating....it's fucking ruining my life. I wish I could deal with this better I wish I could be strong! I feel so sorry for myself!