I'm on a roll :-)

One more thought. I was often confused when reading about abusive narcissist because the very first item didn't really fit mine. He did not push for us to move in together early, in fact he really fought me for quite some time in this issue. He was jealous and controlling from day one, but not pushing for any thing like I had read. We had been dating four years and had two kids before we finally moved in together. Looking back and thinking about how quickly things deteriorated once that happened, I wonder if he was making sure his mind control was pretty strong before exposing me to that level of violence. Does that even make sense?