I'm ok, but my mojo is still MIA
I've pretty much got the mo back in the mojo, but I'm not working to hard just yet to find the jo. Don't get me wrong, I know I will find it, it's just not a priority right now. I miss Jim more than words will ever, ever express, but right now, in this moment, I am ok.
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Yesterday I went to a birthday lunch at Jim\'s daughter\'s house for one of Jim\'s grandson and his son was there. I have never been accepted by Jim\'s oldest daughter and his son so I was pretty nervous about being there. Zane, the grandson (Jim\'s son\'s son) has from the very being called me grandma and has been a part of mine and Jim\'s life together. While we were sitting there talking, Troy, Jim\'s son started to laugh and it was like looking at Jim. The sound, the look, the way he threw his head back just took my breath away.
The lunch and time together wasn\'t as stressful as I thought it would be. Not that we will be best friends anytime soon, but nice to be able to sit there and not sweat profusely. All in all a good day.
I have been a big blubber puddle lately, just full of emotions. I think it has to do with the fact that the weather is changing and Jim\'s birthday is the 26th. I have already planned to take the day off and just celebrate his day. Being alone really kinda sucks, ya know. Not everyday, but sometimes.
My husband\'s brother looks, talks, and walks just like him. We do not see each other very often, but when I do, it is like my husband walked in the room. I just stop and for one moment bask in having him back. Then the moment is gone and it is just my brother-in-law, whom I don\'t like much anyway. I know how you feel. Hugs, Dawn