I\'m now crazy
I just wrote an email and thought it would be good to post it in my journal. This is what's happening with me lately. I grew up with the whole, "Don't air your dirty laundry". I lived by that and have raised my kids by that saying. Now I find that I could be anywhere, at the bank, work, nail salon, grocery store and I'm telling people my problems. What is going on with me? I never ever do that. Never. And here I am, one of those wierd people who tell anyone who'll listen that my husband molested my daughter. When the conversation is over I think, "What in the hell was I thinking"? I've turned in to a crazy person. What is going on with me? People have always come to me for help and advice and strength. Now I just blow up at people and say, "things could be worse you know, if that's your only problem then you are good to go so shut up and count your blessings". God, what happened to me? Who am I? Do you ever feel that way? Will I go back to who I was? Will I have to move away someday because I'll be labeled the crazy lady who lives down the lane?
Replies
I know just how you feel. It took me many years before I could talk about what happened to me as a child but I find myself talking to complete strangers about the stuff that happened to my daughters. So hopefully we\'re not that crazy. I think maybe we are trin to find some understanding for why this happened to our children. So if that\'s crazy you can call me the queen. sorry j/k Sounds like you are a great momma and you stood up for your daughter and I\'m sure you are a strong sane infulance for her.
i think you are doing fine motherduck you are going through alot of stress you are fighting hard for your daughter and to get justice for her i feel once this all gets settled you will find more of a balance to your life.your voice is important you help others here and they can benefit greatly from all that you have learned you are fine .....:) x0
Wow - i find myself chuckling at this - NOT b/c it\'s funny, but b/c i have went through periods in my life where i have done the EXACT same thing!!!!! It\'s like you are so down, you just need constant encouragement & it doesn\'t matter from whom or from where! I COMPLETELY understand where you are at & you are NOT crazy - just desperate - desperate for someone to get of their f@#$%^& a@# and do something already!!
I\'m like withcrazy kids - i never spoke about my abuse, but once it came out, it was like a broken faucet - i couldn\'t stop telling people - even complete strangers - it\'s like you need support from a certain area (in your case support from the lousy law enforcement system) & you aren\'t getting it, so you seek it out from other sources. I think it\'s completely normal for what you\'re going through. If people don\'t understand than forget them!