I'm lazy aka chronically depressed and agoraphobic

So today I had to do this darkness into light walk to raise awareness for suicide and deprssion and to raise money, it was also to show anyone in that situation how much support there is etc (oh the irony) and because of the crowds and what it was about I had to run part of it to get away from my family etc cause I was having yet another panic attack :D :/ So it was 4am and I had already had 2 minor panic attacks (I didn't completely lose it and was able to calm down) cause I had already had one earlier than that from trying to eat at like 2am, so going well. I then slept until 11am when my mum work me to do work (I'm homeschooled currently) and because of how much work I still have left to do etc I started getting panicky and decided nope I was not dealng with that shit so I went back to sleep and every time she woke me I'd do the same, so at 5pm I finally got out of bed and locked myslef in the kitchen to work so I wouldn't have to deal with people in case I had another one but then my parents started lecturing me about being lazy... I had been awake for hours tryng to get the motivation to get out of bed and then calm enough to leave my room without completely flipping and they called me lazy :/ I'm so fucking done with the attitude that mental health problems are a choice and people thinking if we just tried we'd be fine, can I point out that my mum knows fine well how hard it is for me and still ranted at me for 290 goddamn minutes. And she also keeps tryng to tell me she knows how I feel because she has (MINOR) SAD (seasonal affective disorder) which is NOT the same as having a freaking panic attack nearly everytime I eat (I've been anorexic for years) and when I leave the house, also SAD does not make you want to curl into a ball and scream or make you want to kill yourself nearly ever day for months/years on end :/ Idk I just needed to rant a bit XD