I'm incomplete ....

I'm not down for the count, I won't stand for defeat...


But I cannot tell a lie,


For this journey SOARED ME HIGH


Only to drop me 300 feet fucking deep and clearly BLOWN Off my feet


There I lay on the ground,


No friend made a sound


Nor foe left in sight,


Just me by myself, left alone


Can I turn this around ?



Gasping for air I knew that my bell had been rung


Yet I made no sound - fighting to keep my last bit of sanity left in my soul


And my last breath, left in my lungs...


I began to take inventory of the damage I had done



On my account !!


How many lies could one person speak,


The obvious is an unimaginable amount..



Stacked upon the top of each mighty Summit's peak


The turnaround I just spoke of...


Yeah that started to look bleak.


SO Internally I began to seek, why the fuck was I made so incomplete?



Each word - each sentence, no thought or suggestion,


Not even a pause - Nor a breath


JUST my pure reflection


or Death :)  



So without hesitation, here I Go


No limitations - an honest mans - one man show...



I would fire each and all of my lies in ANY one or many fucking directions  


One lie - two lies - three and four 


After that, Lie after Lie after Lie would Mount, to an unnatural # that of course ...


I'd lose count....


My method of madness, a Lexicon from a Con - Articulately I felt like a Mafia Don


With Power - so I thought - I would speak 


Attracting the weak


Attacking the meak and anyone that would listen...  


And in all honesty... That was my only mission.  


Words and Lies | Promises made Cheap


No care for their victim


Blindly I would speak


First and then thoughtlessly I'd seek...


Someone to believe my words, which were my cowardly reward I was addicted to reap.


Victim one 


Victim two


Or even # three, whether it be 


A stranger


In the form of a man, a woman, most of the time someone close to me..


Shamefully that form was mostly family. 


But as I reflect, try to heal and I tire


I with certainty realize that I was a liar for hire..


Contracted for my Words of fire,


A sharpshooter's tongue - and the wave of my hand


Always alone - often on my grandstand


I am a Jedi Master of a Liar


Hiding my true intentions from enemy fire


I was addicted to being weary, internally eternal lacking real fucking desire


But come one - come all


Before your eyes, subconsciously I swore


Come hell or high water, I can not abide


I lie because I hide


I am insecure


I am weak


In plain sight, I'm so sure


Here me tell the truth, better chances hearing the Raven quote "Nevermore"


But truth be told - I am the equal to a lying whore


No home inside my madnes5


s, just a broken fucking door


Push open my door - and take just a peep


You'll see what I truly am


Empty


As the Nile River runs deep  


As forementioned..  I'm 100%


Incomplete ! 


My Madness however, my only true friend


No lie to steep, no truth, unable to bend...


One personality to another - Nice to meet your acquiantance


Follow my orders, here is the Cadence...


Lie - then breath - speak another lie then repeat


My madness made me believe myself


As my lies sowed sO deep ... so Deeep


And then I began to faintly hear - that familiar voice creep


and creep


Until the creep had reached an inflections peak...


"NOW !" - would scream my madness ...


"Do as I say DaMnIt and then u will "REPEAT"


And DID as I was told - I did !!


Repeat and Repeat 


Till neither of us could even hear the resemblance of what was once a human heart beat...


UNTIL there FINALLY came a day


That no liar dare speak


That no liar dare say


When all my lies had finally caught up to me,


On that day


Simultaneously..


I pray... 


Have mercy on me - even if hell is fucking hot


or My Hand to God -  I might tighten this Slipknot!! 


LOST is all I had got


How blind was I


That I could no longer see


Even NOW in evidence of my tiny infancy... 


So I ran - As fast as I could and hid my best 


From my madness - the noise and all the rest


Where did I find my Coward's Nest?


I hid in the Forrest


With Rope in hand - Under a Tree


For this would be


For me - myself and thee 


My last attempt to find truth - honor and hope 


As my grip loosened from the Rope


My reality


Two for the price of one some say - as I celebrated both


My "Judgement Day and also Time to Pay Day!" 


For I owed the Reaper,


And the Ferryman


Both of their Fee ($)


But the one I owed most,


Stood right before me


The MOST frightening being for any one site to see  


THERE was the one, who I lied to the most


The one I saw each day and that I hid from the most


It took all of my strength - from the Heavens to Sea 


To gaze in that mirror's reflection,


In all actuality ...


A day of recononing indeed


To finally Force me to see


That the one I hid from 


I lied to 


and feared most undeniably


Was looking back in the mirror's reflection


The reflection was of ME !