I'M IN A FIGHT, LORD PLEASE HELP ME.
I know this feeling all too well Lord and I'm in a fight.
On top of the nonsense I shared last night I also got a very disturbing phone call from one of my children who is going through some major disappointments in his life and it was just disruptive to my soul to hear my child so down on himself. I think more so than the ignorance of my so-called friend, it just took more out of me than I was ready for. Sometimes our children make bad decisions in their youth that follow them into adulthood and it’s not so easy to shake off. He is learning that now but at a very high price. As a parent, I recognize that we have the need to want to fix everything that goes wrong in their lives but there are limits to what you can do and then you just have to trust God with their lives. So I prayed and went to bed early last night which is all I can do in this instance.
God help me because I don't want to ever sound or be selfish, but I am trying for once in my life to just focus on me but as fate would have it every time I try something happens that could potentially throw me off course. It is so hard to turn off the switch when it comes to your children, no matter how old they are, but my focus right now has to be me and this journey I am about to embark on.
God you know me better than I know myself and you know what happens when I get overly concerned about my children. I push what I want to the side and become consumed with working things out for everyone but me. I feel the weight on my shoulders and I am truly in a fight trying to control it so I can stay focused. If ever there was a time I need you Lord, it's now because I can't do what I have to do for me with a clear mind if guilt consumes me. I tried saving the world and failed myself miserably, I need to figure this out and soon.
Fighting back the tears again this morning, not a good way to start the day, so I am going to stop here. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and no weapon formed against me or mine shall prosper - Lord I place my child in your hands.
On top of the nonsense I shared last night I also got a very disturbing phone call from one of my children who is going through some major disappointments in his life and it was just disruptive to my soul to hear my child so down on himself. I think more so than the ignorance of my so-called friend, it just took more out of me than I was ready for. Sometimes our children make bad decisions in their youth that follow them into adulthood and it’s not so easy to shake off. He is learning that now but at a very high price. As a parent, I recognize that we have the need to want to fix everything that goes wrong in their lives but there are limits to what you can do and then you just have to trust God with their lives. So I prayed and went to bed early last night which is all I can do in this instance.
God help me because I don't want to ever sound or be selfish, but I am trying for once in my life to just focus on me but as fate would have it every time I try something happens that could potentially throw me off course. It is so hard to turn off the switch when it comes to your children, no matter how old they are, but my focus right now has to be me and this journey I am about to embark on.
God you know me better than I know myself and you know what happens when I get overly concerned about my children. I push what I want to the side and become consumed with working things out for everyone but me. I feel the weight on my shoulders and I am truly in a fight trying to control it so I can stay focused. If ever there was a time I need you Lord, it's now because I can't do what I have to do for me with a clear mind if guilt consumes me. I tried saving the world and failed myself miserably, I need to figure this out and soon.
Fighting back the tears again this morning, not a good way to start the day, so I am going to stop here. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me and no weapon formed against me or mine shall prosper - Lord I place my child in your hands.
Replies
Focusing on yourself is not selfish or self-centered. You being healthy and strong will assure that you are there for your children into the future. I have a daughter with complex and serious medical needs. I too must remember that her life is in God\'s hands, as is mine. My worry, anxiety and stress serve no positive purpose but can create great harm. Take care my friend.
Thank you Maizey I have come to grips with what I have to do and why and I\'ve spoken with my son and family and they have encouraged me to remain focused and do this for me. I am just about there and looking forward to this wl journey.