I'm Home!
05/30/12- Flying home
I don't know what I need to do to get my Nana's death to hit me. I saw her in her coffin, I went to her funeral and graveside service. I cried a bit at the funeral and sobbed a bit at the graveside service, but other than that I've been fine. It hasn't hit me yet that she is gone. My aunt had already cleaned out my Nana's room by the time we got out there, and on Wednesday my sister and I spent some time in there going through pictures. It was cool seeing all the old family photos. I got a bunch of photos of my dad and the family. We made a collage, and that was cool too. The next day, my sister went up there with my cousin and did a bunch more collages. There were 7 posterboards in total. Some had my Nana in the early years, with her first husband and my Aunt Teddy, then some had my dad and all the rest of my aunts and uncles. My Aunt Lucille had problems with one of her brothers, so she didn't want him in any of the collages.
5/31- I'm Home!
Sorry about the abrupt stop to yesterday's journal. I was sitting on the plane and there was a woman in front of me who put her seat back and then I couldn't see my screen anymore. Geo surprised me at the airport and we went out to dinner and came home. I showed him some of the family photos I brought home with me, and then I went to bed. I was so tired. I still am. I pretty much slept all day. I've just been exhausted. I have to go grocery shopping and go to work tomorrow, so I hope I can do both early and come home and sleep the weekend away. I do need to get started exercising again. I gained 7 pounds on vacation, so I need to cut that out and start getting back to normal. I need to figure out what I'm going to do for breakfast tomorrow. I hope I can find something healthy. I've been eating anything I see lately. I eat for comfort which I never do anymore, but I have been.
My brain still doesn't know that she's gone. It hasn't hit me yet. I don't know when it will, but I hope it's soon. I know also that my mom's mother in law is close to death, and I want to see her before she passes. I just don't know if I have the time at work to take off for that. Last time I saw her, she was doing good. A bit old, but still spunky. She still has some of her fight left in her, which his why she's still alive. She's in her early 80's if I remember correctly. At least she's closer in Jacksonville than in LA. I just feel so crappy with everyone around me dying.
Mood today has been okay... I slept all day for the most part, but I did go out to dinner with Geo and we had a good time. We have the truck, so we can go out for now. We went to Wendy's and I got their chili and a salad. Geo and I just talked and joked around a bit. I love it when he's in a good mood and joking. It makes me feel close to him. He's pretty sarcastic, but I'm used to that. I like his sense of humor most of the time. Sometimes he jokes and it's a bit out of line, but that's just the way it is. It's not like he's constantly degrading me, it's more like “How cute you are, thinking you have a job” or something like that when tonight I said that I had to go grocery shopping early so I could get to work on time. I do consider it work because soon it will be a job, but for now it's just volunteering. I don't have any set time to be there and leave, but I try to get there at 1pm and leave at 4:30. It gives me a good chunk of time to spend there.
Food today was good. I ate a bunch of crap, but I was in my calorie range and all. I had tacos for breakfast and Wendy's for dinner like I said above. I did h ave a salad, so I guess that's a good thing. I wish I could have had more veggies, but oh well. When I was in LA I was eating a lot of veggies. I would have big salads with dinner, soup with veggies and stuff like that. I could pretty much eat anything I wanted. My stepdad has a huge variety of food, from nuts and trail mix to veggies to everything you can think of canned. He has a closet full of food, and a garage full of food. If there's an earthquake there and the house is still standing, he won't run out of food and water for ages. I don't know why he feels the need to get all that food for just him, but oh well. It's not hurting anyone.
I don't know what I need to do to get my Nana's death to hit me. I saw her in her coffin, I went to her funeral and graveside service. I cried a bit at the funeral and sobbed a bit at the graveside service, but other than that I've been fine. It hasn't hit me yet that she is gone. My aunt had already cleaned out my Nana's room by the time we got out there, and on Wednesday my sister and I spent some time in there going through pictures. It was cool seeing all the old family photos. I got a bunch of photos of my dad and the family. We made a collage, and that was cool too. The next day, my sister went up there with my cousin and did a bunch more collages. There were 7 posterboards in total. Some had my Nana in the early years, with her first husband and my Aunt Teddy, then some had my dad and all the rest of my aunts and uncles. My Aunt Lucille had problems with one of her brothers, so she didn't want him in any of the collages.
5/31- I'm Home!
Sorry about the abrupt stop to yesterday's journal. I was sitting on the plane and there was a woman in front of me who put her seat back and then I couldn't see my screen anymore. Geo surprised me at the airport and we went out to dinner and came home. I showed him some of the family photos I brought home with me, and then I went to bed. I was so tired. I still am. I pretty much slept all day. I've just been exhausted. I have to go grocery shopping and go to work tomorrow, so I hope I can do both early and come home and sleep the weekend away. I do need to get started exercising again. I gained 7 pounds on vacation, so I need to cut that out and start getting back to normal. I need to figure out what I'm going to do for breakfast tomorrow. I hope I can find something healthy. I've been eating anything I see lately. I eat for comfort which I never do anymore, but I have been.
My brain still doesn't know that she's gone. It hasn't hit me yet. I don't know when it will, but I hope it's soon. I know also that my mom's mother in law is close to death, and I want to see her before she passes. I just don't know if I have the time at work to take off for that. Last time I saw her, she was doing good. A bit old, but still spunky. She still has some of her fight left in her, which his why she's still alive. She's in her early 80's if I remember correctly. At least she's closer in Jacksonville than in LA. I just feel so crappy with everyone around me dying.
Mood today has been okay... I slept all day for the most part, but I did go out to dinner with Geo and we had a good time. We have the truck, so we can go out for now. We went to Wendy's and I got their chili and a salad. Geo and I just talked and joked around a bit. I love it when he's in a good mood and joking. It makes me feel close to him. He's pretty sarcastic, but I'm used to that. I like his sense of humor most of the time. Sometimes he jokes and it's a bit out of line, but that's just the way it is. It's not like he's constantly degrading me, it's more like “How cute you are, thinking you have a job” or something like that when tonight I said that I had to go grocery shopping early so I could get to work on time. I do consider it work because soon it will be a job, but for now it's just volunteering. I don't have any set time to be there and leave, but I try to get there at 1pm and leave at 4:30. It gives me a good chunk of time to spend there.
Food today was good. I ate a bunch of crap, but I was in my calorie range and all. I had tacos for breakfast and Wendy's for dinner like I said above. I did h ave a salad, so I guess that's a good thing. I wish I could have had more veggies, but oh well. When I was in LA I was eating a lot of veggies. I would have big salads with dinner, soup with veggies and stuff like that. I could pretty much eat anything I wanted. My stepdad has a huge variety of food, from nuts and trail mix to veggies to everything you can think of canned. He has a closet full of food, and a garage full of food. If there's an earthquake there and the house is still standing, he won't run out of food and water for ages. I don't know why he feels the need to get all that food for just him, but oh well. It's not hurting anyone.
Replies
I think your food was pretty much OK. Lots of veggies and protein in chili.
I recall when my Grandmother passed it was about 2 weeks before it really hit me. Getting back into the routine of living is the best thing for you to do.
As for your \"job\" when you are consistent in showing up for your volunteer work it shows them you would be a asset to the company.