I'm going on a Bro Date!
(another discussion topic I thought would be good in my journal)
I didn't only lose my wife and my mother last year, I lost my best male friend.
I met a man about my age at an Ivy Life networking event for Ivy League grads (like me). There's always smart interesting people at those.
I sort of unloaded on him, but I sensed that he didn't mind. When I sent him a LinkedIn connection request, I was stunned to find out that many years ago he wrote a biography of Sun Ra, a jazz musician I saw in the 70s.
I told him I am thinking about catching a jazz show, and would he let me know if he hears about any good ones? We have exchanged several messages, mostly talking about music.
He asked me if I would join him at the Tedeschi Trucks Band show in Central Park Monday night. I am so honored he thought of me. It's also a show I will truly enjoy, and I wouldn't have heard about it without the heads up.
I promised to be less maudlin, I was still in deep grief when we met. Now the grief is not so raw - more like deep, deep sadness punctuated by crying spells. At least I got that out of the way early, now we can focus on the NOW and pleasant things, like a shared love of music.
I also met another new bro at a tech meetup, we hit it off. He's much younger, I am sort of mentoring him as he transitions from a stalled career as a musician to IT. He has a lovely wife (not just in looks, a really beautiful person). She is going to try to help a friend from my synagogue who is out of work and depressed get a job at UJA. They're Jewish, and invited me to their large family Passover Seder, I had a nice time. On my birthday (Cinco de Mayo) we had Mexican dinner with my daughter and son-in-law. They live near each other in Jersey City, and I have been wanting to introduce them for a while. They all hit it off. I am proud to share my excellent new friends, and hope they all become excellent new friends too.
It's so hard to find true friends - and true love.
I guess slowly missing pieces in my life are being filled in with new pieces.
I didn't only lose my wife and my mother last year, I lost my best male friend.
I met a man about my age at an Ivy Life networking event for Ivy League grads (like me). There's always smart interesting people at those.
I sort of unloaded on him, but I sensed that he didn't mind. When I sent him a LinkedIn connection request, I was stunned to find out that many years ago he wrote a biography of Sun Ra, a jazz musician I saw in the 70s.
I told him I am thinking about catching a jazz show, and would he let me know if he hears about any good ones? We have exchanged several messages, mostly talking about music.
He asked me if I would join him at the Tedeschi Trucks Band show in Central Park Monday night. I am so honored he thought of me. It's also a show I will truly enjoy, and I wouldn't have heard about it without the heads up.
I promised to be less maudlin, I was still in deep grief when we met. Now the grief is not so raw - more like deep, deep sadness punctuated by crying spells. At least I got that out of the way early, now we can focus on the NOW and pleasant things, like a shared love of music.
I also met another new bro at a tech meetup, we hit it off. He's much younger, I am sort of mentoring him as he transitions from a stalled career as a musician to IT. He has a lovely wife (not just in looks, a really beautiful person). She is going to try to help a friend from my synagogue who is out of work and depressed get a job at UJA. They're Jewish, and invited me to their large family Passover Seder, I had a nice time. On my birthday (Cinco de Mayo) we had Mexican dinner with my daughter and son-in-law. They live near each other in Jersey City, and I have been wanting to introduce them for a while. They all hit it off. I am proud to share my excellent new friends, and hope they all become excellent new friends too.
It's so hard to find true friends - and true love.
I guess slowly missing pieces in my life are being filled in with new pieces.
Replies
Oh yeah, I have other new friends.
I went to see Buzzcocks a few weeks ago at the Stone Pony, in Asbury Park, NJ, a 2 hour train ride. I don\'t own a car, where I live it\'s like living in Queens or another borough of NYC, lots of public transportation.
I tried to find someone to go with, but ended up going alone.
I missed the last train back. Well, that\'s punk for you, music first and improvise afterwards. I went to a bar on the boardwalk to charge my phone. Two people sat near me, we started talking. They were at the show too. I told them my situation. I found out they work at Princeton U in IT - even using the Drupal software I specialize in. We were all a little drunk, they were not ready to go home, so we decided to hang out, it was a nice warm Spring night.
From the bar we walked across the beach to the ocean. If you have never visited the ocean edge at night, I recommend it. Then we decided to get \"Korean Tacos\" - the only place open at that time of night. On the way there, the woman held my hand tight, in a very sweet innocent way. An unfamiliar but pleasant sensation. It reminded me of the 60s. They already knew about my hard year last year, and some comforting things don\'t need words.
When the taco place closed at 4, they went home, and I caught the 5:45 train home. Before we parted, she gave me her business card to contact her. She gave me his FB info. I thought they were a couple, but they were just good friends. They both have sad complicated marriages. I am glad they have each other.
He and I have shared stuff about punk groups on FB. She has said she is glad I connected with him. I said I am glad I connected with both of them, they are lovely people.
Cool--You are a natural at networking Randall. Glad to see you are making new friends. Suzi
I miss living on the Jersey shore and going to The Stone Pony! You brought up some great memories for me! Glad you\'re getting out and having some fun! Good for you! Hugs . . D
Good for you getting out and meeting new and rekindling older friendships... I find this one of the hardest things to do... It takes courage to move on and make new memories... Big hug for you Des and a blessing...x