I'm glad I'm doing this

I am so glad I'm doing this program.  I need it for me, too.  Last night we went out with some friends (their 23 year old is in recovery) and found out that earlier this summer when their son came to pick up T to go bowling and to get him out of bed - he catches our middle son smoking pot openly in front of T!!!!  Not very long after that I found the potato he used to smoke it but I didn't know what it was.  I asked J about and he was up front - telling me he used it to smoke pot!  He was so open about it that it caught me off guard.  Of course, I talked to him about it but I didn't know he was doing it in front of T!  What the ?  I am biting at the bit to talk to him now.  He's is lucky he's away for the weekend!   Yesterday I received an e-mail from the juvenile detective.  Ever since I began my "campaign" - starting with my Parent Resource Packet - he seldom answered my e-mails.  Once, however, he did e-mail me asking for information and connections for his program to educate SWAT team members on teen suicide (because he knew I was an advocate in that area,too). Anyway - I got a bit frustrated with him because he would promise things and then not follow through with them even though what I was asking was very small. He was even like that with T when I needed answers but --I know he's extremely busy and tried to understand that.  I feel, however, that he should be at the presentation because there are things we just don't know as parents. Because he appears to be very busy -  I wasn't going to ask him to meet beforehand because I didn't think he'd be receptive to that.  The D.A.R.E. Officer didn't respond to two letters I sent him. Well - he e-mails me and wants the 3 of us to get together.  I am pleased and relieved. I feel better about this......

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

So much turmoil for you and my heart goes out to you! Remember that you are the strong one, others are not so emotionally involved (the officer\'s) because they can\'t. They have seen all, heard all and have to remove themselves from the emotional, and do a job. We, on the other hand, have seen what it has done to our children, suffered, grieved, and spent many nights and days crying, heartbroken, feeling like we have failed as a parent. In the end, we became strong, educated and self confident in what we have to do to try to prevent this. Try is the key word. We know we haven\'t made these decisions for them to take the drugs, but are very aware and have made it known that the jigs up. You have the strength and determination to make sure it isn\'t going to happen anymore!!! There are so many parents out there who are desperate to know HOW to recognize the signs, and be able to deal with it. What you are doing is so vital! I am just so sorry about J and know that you and your husband will get through this too. Once again, life has dealt you a dirty hand, and you feel it happened right under your nose. You\'ve recognized the signs, and are able to go to battle. Praying for you and your family today! Love, D.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Quite the dilemma, how to support J to finish school and T\'s efforts to stay clean. I am sorry about these developments. Once again, perhaps there is a college roommate situation for J...Take Care!