I'm drifting

I say drifting because right now I have no direction.  I'm an LMT who has not yet given a paid massage.  I have a book on how to market massage but can't read it because of my migraines.  There's things I want to do, but when I have a migraine all day I don't do anything.  I'm convinced I have a real gift at massage and I want to use it.  I know that if you're in pain and I give you a massage you'll feel better.  People should know about it and be almost lined up.  And it's not happening.  Every day I'm a day older.  When I was 20 years old that didn't matter much, but now a few months from age 60 I can see the sand is almost gone from my hourglass.