I'M convinced!!
Lately, I have been really struggling with things and my focus HAS been on chillin out! SO, my husband has a visit with his daughter this weekend. Well, it tends to get very difficult watching him parent and have that experience and I long to have my own kids. DOn't get me wrong, LUV my stepdaughter, but I WANT the bond of having my kids. So anyways, I decided to babysit my one year old neice for 2 days to see what it would be like to! OMG, she is a handful!!However, the ways she clung to me and had her occassional "MA, MA" to me I was overjoyed. Yes, I know I am not her mom, but I think she calls any body mom to get their attention. However, in the moments of taking care of her and imagining our lives with children was a delight. If I had any reservations, it is gone. My home felt complete with a little one running around. My SD is 6 so, she is a little older, it's just different with a baby! I know realize that I want to be a mom with all my heart! It took my mind off being jeolous of him and my SD really enjoyed having her visit too. Although she was a wee jeolous of the attention considering it's all about her when she visits! I am convinced that the anxiety and anxiousness of this cycle will be worth the joy of being a mom!
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It\'s amazing the flood of emotions you have when you are trying to concieve. I kept thinking for a long time that maybe I didn\'t want kids that bad and that was why I was not getting pregnant...but then I spend time with my 2 and 4 y.o. nephews and I remember how much I truly love their company! Our mind plays tricks on us...I know you are trying to relax....you are moving in the right direction. xoxo
M, I\'m so glad to hear this. I know you\'ve struggled with this for so long. I hope the peace you\'re coming into stays :) I\'ll be thinking of you. Call me so we can get together before school starts- I\'ll drive bc I got a new car!!! Miss ya dear!!!