I'm baaaaaack!(:

   It's been a loooooooooooonng time, haha. Everything changed and now it's almost exactly the same. I'm just more tired this time around. I don't love anybody really anymore. I don't even care about sex anymore, I just want to be alone. All I want is my career. I honestly don't care about anything else. I would pack up and never talk to my family again. My friends, forget them. I need to be on stage. I'm dying every minute I'm not performing or rehearsing. It's all that runs through my mind. All day, every day. Well, that and my weight.
   I've stopped eating. And when I do eat I purge. The last week or so I've been too tired to purge (I know, lame excuse) so I gained some weight. I hate myself. Everytime I want to eat I take my shirt off and stand in front of the mirror. Eventually I'll end up doing crunches insead of eating. I basically force feed myself water everyday. I told my best friend and I can tell she is trying to make me eat. I will for her, but she doesn't know I just throw it up later. I would do anything to be skinny. ANYTHING.
   And I hate my mom. I hate her. I hate her for everything she's done to herself. I have no respect for her, I don't love her at all. She's so annoying and selfish. But I'm just like her. Every similarity I find between us I cange as soon as I recognize it. I can't be her. I don't want to hate myself anymore.
   Oh, on the 20th it was my 1 year clean. Yay(: