I'm at my breaking point

Its been a week since my surgery and I was doing ok till about 2 seconds ago. I just saw the surgical site for the first time. I know it wasn't going to be pretty. I was prepared for that. What I wasn't prepared for was the giant scar running down my arm, almost down to my elbow. I know Anything is better than this HS but really what's the point of me going through all of this when at the end of it all I still can't look at myself? At least before my only clothing restriction was not wearing sleeveless. God knows if I'll even be able to wear a t-shirt next summer.
I don't have anyone to talk to about how i feel. They'll either turn the conversation around and make it about themselves or make me feel stupid for feeling the way I do about the way I look because I've had it worse when the HS was on a rampage. Even if, by chance, someone actually listened to me, they wouldn't keep it to themselves. My friends would talk about it amongst themselves even though i would tell them not to say anything.
I just want to be normal again but I'm never going to be the person i was before the HS and I don't have anyone in my life that I can talk to so all i can do is sit here and cry.