I'm a terrible person....

So last night I hung out with a friend and we got pizza and decided to go to another friend's house and chill. I was the only girl. One of them pulled out alcohol and I knew that I wouldn't drive while drinking and I wanted some so I told my mom that I was going to a different friend's house to stay the night. So long story short: it's true when people say that people like me (female, 19, not even 5 ft tall, and like 120 something pounds) should not try to keep up with guys who are over 6 ft tall and probably double my weight. I got so drunk that I actually threw up... And then at some point one of the guys started making out with me... And I ended up losing my virginity... It was consensual because I said yes, but at the same time I was so drunk that I puked and I couldn't be expected to actually understand what was going on. That wasn't who I wanted to lose my virginity to and I did not want to lose it in that way. I feel gross and dirty... I feel like a terrible person right now....