I Love My Child Faults And All
A friend shared this is another group I belong to and I just wanted to share it with you... I just felt like it said something I needed to hear... and maybe it will help ease your heart to...
Sometimes we forget or never learned to begin with, the truth about addiction and why our children suffered from it. I find that once we know and understand this, we no longer carry the guilt and confusion. We are able to separate the two. The child we loved from the addict. Addiction is a side affect of other problems that were never dealt with. Even if these problems were developed as a child, it becomes the adult child's responsibility to learn to cope.
Once they discover alcohol or drugs can be used to relieve the pain, it is often too late. They forget about what got them to "use" to begin with, and the new problem becomes a bigger one.
No matter what, we are still not responsible. The most important thing is that EVERYONE needs this information. You never know who is going to become the next addict. Most parents never dreamed it possible that the child they know could ever do this to themselves! In most cases, the most successful, loving children can become an addict. The alcohol and drugs aren't real picky about who they choose to destroy. :(
I love this mental health site and read many of their articles.http://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/main/causes-of-drug-addiction-and-alcoholism/menu-id-54/
This post is a blessing... I had never seen it written so well... I knew that I believed for the longest that Cara's drug/alcohol use were caused by her emotional pain... I tried but just couldn't reach her... I wanted so much for her to be well... stupid to say... its obvious that's what we all wanted...
When someone abuses drugs/alcohol... the things they do... you know the ugly behaviors, stealing, lying... everything that is foreign to the person you know... its like you start identifying the person with what they're doing... and you get angry... and you blame them... I wish we could all see that somewhere behind that filthy derelict is a person... a much beloved child of God... and instead of despising them... we can pray for them... Hugs Elissa Cara's Mom
Sometimes we forget or never learned to begin with, the truth about addiction and why our children suffered from it. I find that once we know and understand this, we no longer carry the guilt and confusion. We are able to separate the two. The child we loved from the addict. Addiction is a side affect of other problems that were never dealt with. Even if these problems were developed as a child, it becomes the adult child's responsibility to learn to cope.
Once they discover alcohol or drugs can be used to relieve the pain, it is often too late. They forget about what got them to "use" to begin with, and the new problem becomes a bigger one.
No matter what, we are still not responsible. The most important thing is that EVERYONE needs this information. You never know who is going to become the next addict. Most parents never dreamed it possible that the child they know could ever do this to themselves! In most cases, the most successful, loving children can become an addict. The alcohol and drugs aren't real picky about who they choose to destroy. :(
I love this mental health site and read many of their articles.http://www.healthyplace.com/addictions/main/causes-of-drug-addiction-and-alcoholism/menu-id-54/
This post is a blessing... I had never seen it written so well... I knew that I believed for the longest that Cara's drug/alcohol use were caused by her emotional pain... I tried but just couldn't reach her... I wanted so much for her to be well... stupid to say... its obvious that's what we all wanted...
When someone abuses drugs/alcohol... the things they do... you know the ugly behaviors, stealing, lying... everything that is foreign to the person you know... its like you start identifying the person with what they're doing... and you get angry... and you blame them... I wish we could all see that somewhere behind that filthy derelict is a person... a much beloved child of God... and instead of despising them... we can pray for them... Hugs Elissa Cara's Mom
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