I love you

I love you so much Joe and I knwo I say it so much now and did not say it enough when you were with me. You said I love you every five seconds to me and always asked me why i couldnt say it too? I hope you see now that it was just the way I was raised. We never heard those words as we grew up. Although I wrote them to you all the time, I had a hard time saying it.
I had the first showing of our house today. It was so hard to allow strangers to look at our things. Tomorrow two others are scheduled. I pray I am doing the right thing? I have not idea how this all works so I am relying on the real estate to guide me. I still have the violation in our basement and the permit and plumber said he hopes next week it will be fixed. Then the court date is may 1..they are going to fight to have the fine removed for me (althought the cost to hire them was twice the price of the fine!). You would have handled all these things much better than me.
I gave away all teh furniture upstairs to a couple who had nothing. THey just came here from another country after losing their jobs and have a little baby. You know me, when someone needs something, I give too much and I did it again! I guess you didnt change me afterall and I know you tried.
Still no word from yours sons or your friends. Only two stay in touch with me and make sure I am ok. Your family has totally written me off and I know I need to let it go..but it is so hard after 12 years not to have them on my side. I pray they are all doing ok.
Our Abbey girls is so adorable. I talk to her about you every single day. She wont leave me side all night long and lays against me in bed as if she is protecting me? She wont leave the bed until I say I am getting up. It is funny, but she is so sweet. Your right, she is the best thing I ever brought into the house. I am so glad we rescued her and she has a home to feel safe in. I will always care for her and you know this.
Again...I LOVE YOU JOE and need your help through this. ME~