I\'ll try again!

I tried to write a journal last night. I had just finished it when the damn thig disappeared for some reason! I got mad and just signed off.I have been very busy. Started my new job Monday. I am thankful to have it but... had training all week. Yuck!! They work on a DOS based system! OMG can you say ole skool!!!! It sucks!! I hate the place and the job but the people and money are great. It could be much worse! I know I am blessed and I thank God for the opportunity!Haven't had much time for a love life or even socializing! Michael and I will probably do something over the weekend. I need some fun.  I have been talking to a very nice guy I met on here. We are getting to be good friends. I very much enjoy our conversations.  Wish he lived closer! It appears we are in about the same place at getting on with our lives.  He is a hoot.  Who knows what God has planned for any of us. Maybe one day we will get to meet and have some fun together. I'll bet we would have a blast! For now I am enjoying out conversations and support. I hope he enjoyes it too! God works in mysterious ways and puts people in your life for a reason!I can't get on line at all during the day so I have had to start weening myself from DS. I don't know where I would be today if I had not found this place. I think it saved my life!I still miss my ex asshole but I know I loved someone that didn't exist! The real Tony is a selfish asshole! He continues to show me just how lucky I am God let me catch him cheating and got me away from him.  His newest move was to put his duplex (where his own Mother lives) on the market without telling her. She woke up this week to a for sale sign in her front yard!  She bought the Duplex years ago then deeded it to him. She put $20,000.00 of her own money into her apt. to make it nice. She thought she would live there the rest of her life. He used to live upstairs. When we were together I helped him refi it to get a down payment on "our" home he had built.  He rents out the top now. He told me he was thinking about listing it. I told him it would kill his Mom and he needed to at least talk to her first. He asked me not to say anything to her. I told him it was his biz but told him again he NEEDED to talk to her. She is 73 and not that well. I love her so much! He didn't bother to say a word. She hasn't told me yet, I found out from a friend she woke up to the sign in the yard yesterday. I have tried to call her she is probably out buying his Christmas gifts! She deserves so much better than him!!! I hate him for treating her like that. If he could do his own Mother that way imagine how he would treat any other woman in his life!  I still cry when I hear certain songs and it brings back memories of us and the lie I lived with him.  The dream was wonderful but the reality is that he is an awful person and I deserve better! I know that one day my heart will get it too, I am sure.  I am finally starting to look forward to the future, even though I have no idea what it will hold for me.  I am happy and content alone with friends to keep me busy. I know one day one of these friends will turn out to be my best friend to grow old with. I look forward to loving again. I am scared of it but I will not chase it or turn it away. God will bring it my way when it is the right time and person for me. I believe that, finally! I'm still damaged but healing!  Time is the answer for those of you who still don't see a light at the end of your tunnel! It is a hard road but we will all make it in time, I know we will!