I'll be alright

Well. I had a moment today of being quite low. yes that's right, depressed. I didnt take my SAME today -but I wonder if it can have such an effect by not taking it for one or two days? ... and it persisted, though I had some fav chocolate and watched a sweet movie to get me out of it it's duller now thank goodness. I had a shower afterwards though and was just disgusted with my body. It's not as skinny or toned as i'd wish!  I kept thinking about how maybe I was supposed to be with my ex somehow. We never had a proper break up and we never had closure. He loved me so much and in all the right ways and I wonder if we had met again if it would have been the best thing in the world for me. It's just too late... I wonder if he had hoped for me too secretly. It's so hard not to go to the what if's or the 'should I have' done this. I even worry that I was supposed to be single for a period of time in order to have caught up with him. I just never gave it another chance and I dont know why.Everyone I ever met that knew'us' said we should ahve been together. I could scream. I figured I need to remind myself of some reasons why it's OK that my ex is married now, that I'm moving on, and that we didn't end up together despite regrets or whatever. - He was very straight down the line- He could be pushy and not as fun- I wasn't totally attracted to him completely   Damn it i'm having trouble thinking of many others but at least there's some. And here are some good things about my fiance'- He is funny- We have lots in common- We have had bad times, but at least been real- He knows i get depressed and loves me anyway- He shouts me out to lunch and coffee's- He's intelligent and musical