I like to pretend FML stand's for Forgot My Lunch.

My mum pointed something out to me earlier tonight. My sister has her boyfriend to run off to when they want to forget everything, my brother's the same with his girlfriend. And even though mum has now broken up with Blayde, she can still run off back to his mum's place if she really wants to, even if thing's aren't the same there for her.
I dont seem to have a lot of places I can go. I've been working a bit more lately and the friend I could stay with from time to time lives an extra 10 minutes from my place, so 30 minutes plus from his to my work. He has a spare bedroom and the bed is REALLY comfy, I really dig it. So if I did, it'd have to be on one of my day's off, and I sneak off after he get's up for work perhaps. I've noticed too that his mum sleep's in that room, similarly to how mum and dad would sleep in seperate room's for a long while before they split as well. So I'd be nicking that off her. Idk it's tricky.
I dont want my other friend's to feel like I'm thinking that their place's aren't good enough, or get the impression I dont feel like we're close enough or whatever that I dont want to stay with them when I need to, but I know that I'd feel weird if I did it too often. Plus they have their own lives too.
I've always said that it's the quiet people, who dont discuss their problems that you need to look out for, I've wondered if I fall into that category? Not to a point where it's serious, no. Just that I dont talk about anything, I bottle it up with a stubborn, "I should be able to handle it" attitude.
Dad's mood's are really bringing me down. I mostly feel down when he's home. Other time's I feel quite alright like a few thing's are actually falling into place and I'm getting used to most of what's happening now and accepting it.
Dad's recently noticed that I've changed a lot around him. I dont talk to him much, avoid him a little I'll admit, and find that just looking at him make's me feel a little depressed. He's got a bad habbit of sighing whenever I enter a room. Idk if it's because he's hoping I'll ask him what's wrong so he can get into this whole self-depricating, stupid rant about how much he hates his life and how he wants to beat the shit of of Blayde and how he has no one to talk to or any friends yadda blah blah. She started dating another guy after they split, I want him to GET THE FUCK OVER IT!
Mum's suggested that we share a place together somewhere. Once the house is sold (it went on the market recently) and everything's sorted we'd have a little money to help us out, we'd probably share a place with Blayde, and he'll be able to get a job soonish too, which'll help of course. I need that fun environment.
I know that come Thursday I'll feel better cause dad'll be back at work. Guess it;s just a lil sad that I feel like this around my own dad. My biological dad was never a real dad, I never knew him and when I did decide I wanted to, I formed my on opinion. Dad's always working in mining the years that I've known him so he's been away for half of my and my brother and sister's lives. Now he's turning into this depessing, all whiney, it's all about me-me-me dude.
For a lil bit, apart from work I've been pulled away from my real life and friends and I feel bad for it. I know though that if I allow any other baggage to fall onto my shoulder's I fear I wont be able to take it and snap. I want to, oh how I want to, but I hold on. Because I want to.