I knew this day was coming but it still hurts

I knew this day was coming but it still hurts.  I pick up my divorce papers yesterday.  As I was filling them out I thought I was going to die or did I die.  It hurts down in my soul.  I never thought this would happen to me, but it did.  I feel like I am going to a funeral and it is my 25 year marriage. 
Painful
Qunnice