I keep on crying

I thought I could do this Joe. I could go on wihtout you and keep looking after my girls and waiting for that grandchild surprise, but today I dont think I can. I put on some xmas music and cried and cried for all that we will never see or do together. All our dreams had just started and I will never get in the car and drive to the mountains iwth you ago. Never pick up those bacon and egg sandwiches to eat on the way up, never sit on that patio by the creek and just relax and talk about your days up there when you were younger. Your sons will never allow me back there to get anything of mine (ours) or to sleep in our bed ever again. We were married up there last year under the tree with that bench behind me incase I got dizzy and tipped over!! I want that silly bench to keep and cherish but I will never have it. The loss of you is unbearable the loss of our quiet place upstate and the weekends away with you are too much for me.I just want to go there and remember our summer and the days before the hurricane. I cannot do this Joe...I cannot and I am so sorry that I am not strong enough. Me~

Replies

Nicker07
Nicker07

You never know how strong you are unless its the only choice you have. And you know you have only the choice to find a way to live on. Yes, without his physical self but with his memory and soul deep in your heart. Its hard, and try to remember \"stuff\" no matter how precious you feel it is IS just STUFF. My husbands son taught me that....they turned on me immediately despite what seemed for 15 yrs a good relationship. LET GO and LET GOD take care of the rest....I know it is sooooo hard. HUGS