i just want to make sense of all my broken pieces

I want to say so many thing's. But for this feeling , knowing he was real inside me is the hardest to let go. I never imagined it to be true. Even now still plagued with so many complications and obstacles. I just had surgery 2 weeks ago to try and fix something, take out something else and I'm still not or ever will be fixed. I think the hardest pill to swallow is knowing Logan was my chance for my dreams to come true. And one doctor's mistake took my entire life away... I don't wish any of this on my worst enemies. No one deserves this constant torture. I have literally lost myself. Lost my faith, lost my way, lost my mind... it's not pleasant living in a body that just won't die after going through everything and still standing. It must be punishment.