I just need to let it out and hopefully it will help some how.

 My life in the last 18 years have been quiet a ride. I have had some good times but it feels as though I am just so unlucky. I really have tried to keep my head up and just deal with everything but after awhile I think it just got to be too much and now I am just hiding. I am so scared to live life. I hate the way I have become but am to scared to change and venture out. I have been kicked around too much I just want to be left alone but I know that is unreal. I have no idea what else to do. With panic disorder and other things in my life I am dealing with. I am just so scared all the flipping time. I want answers and I have no idea where to get them.