I just don't seem to be able to stop crying...
With my good friend from downstairs John Donovan in Intensive Care = now a quadriplegic after having a disk in his neck removed - I feel I have lost a very large piece of my support network.
John and I are great friends - but we didn't live in each other's pockets.
I helped him with his computer problems and he paid me, which was so very welcome but not necessary.
His world was indeed quite bleak for many years after being diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.
John, at his own admission, locked himself away from the world for years, and didn't let anyone in.
When I moved it - being an openly gay man - full of life and bravado - John often said having me living here was never boring - my having "Multiple Personality Disorder" etc. (My 'catch cry' is: "IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY PERSONALITY - COME BACK IN 5 MINUTES - IT MAY BE MORE TO YOUR LIKING!" ;)
He often called me a "NUT" - saying it with a big broad smile.
I felt good when I was around John because even though he had major health issues - forever apologising for his Parkinson's Tremors - he never really complained. A true gentle-man.
John's partner of 25 years, Michael, is a 'ball of mischief'. ;)
He would often spin a line to see if I'd be sucker enough to bite. *grins*
Michael is doing it very hard - but is coping better than I thought he would,and better than I would.
In 2 1/2 hours Michael and John's family are meeting with the medical team to determine the long term prognosis for John.
We all know that John NEVER wanted to be in the position he faces at the moment - but he did not get an Enduring Power of Attorney or an Advanced Health Directive. The Doctors are very receptive to Michael's needs in this matter. After they have met - Michael will phone me with information on what is going to happen to John.
Until then I will continue praying, endeavouring to try not to ask God "Why?"
Anyway - I'm off to bed now for a sleep before the phone call. I'm totally exhausted.
John and I are great friends - but we didn't live in each other's pockets.
I helped him with his computer problems and he paid me, which was so very welcome but not necessary.
His world was indeed quite bleak for many years after being diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease.
John, at his own admission, locked himself away from the world for years, and didn't let anyone in.
When I moved it - being an openly gay man - full of life and bravado - John often said having me living here was never boring - my having "Multiple Personality Disorder" etc. (My 'catch cry' is: "IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY PERSONALITY - COME BACK IN 5 MINUTES - IT MAY BE MORE TO YOUR LIKING!" ;)
He often called me a "NUT" - saying it with a big broad smile.
I felt good when I was around John because even though he had major health issues - forever apologising for his Parkinson's Tremors - he never really complained. A true gentle-man.
John's partner of 25 years, Michael, is a 'ball of mischief'. ;)
He would often spin a line to see if I'd be sucker enough to bite. *grins*
Michael is doing it very hard - but is coping better than I thought he would,and better than I would.
In 2 1/2 hours Michael and John's family are meeting with the medical team to determine the long term prognosis for John.
We all know that John NEVER wanted to be in the position he faces at the moment - but he did not get an Enduring Power of Attorney or an Advanced Health Directive. The Doctors are very receptive to Michael's needs in this matter. After they have met - Michael will phone me with information on what is going to happen to John.
Until then I will continue praying, endeavouring to try not to ask God "Why?"
Anyway - I'm off to bed now for a sleep before the phone call. I'm totally exhausted.
Replies
David, I\'m so sorry for what has happened to John and all of his friends like you. This tragedy must be awful for you all. I wish I had something helpful to say, but all I can think of, is how sorry I am for your friends and you.
When John finally died it was difficult. What I had not prepared myself for was the 8 weeks we had to wait for probate to go through so he could be cremated with the help of the Government.
John did not have a Will.
Please everyone, get a Will done up. Get an enduring powers of attorney, and also get an advanced health directive.
So much pain and grief could have been avoided if those three documents had been prepared.
Dave