I just don't know anymore...

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm a very passive person and I tend not to speak my mind much or at all. I've been told that I need to speak out more and have my voice heard, but when I do those very same people tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Like, they don't think that I know what I want and they know what's best for me. I don't know what's best for me. Like if and when I plan something for my future my choices get shot down and discarded as being terrible or fantasy and I need to get with reality. My family has told me the things I want to do with my life they never expected that of me and I shouldn't do them, what if God has another plan for me and I'll miss out on that, because of what I want. I never know how to respond with that so I don't. I just don't respond at all. I mean, we never know what God has planned for us, but I trust in Him to know that He will keep me safe as long as I have trust and faith in Him. Then my boyfriend never wants to hear about what I want in life. When I do tell him, he gets upset saying that he's my boyfriend and that I never include him in on my life plans and shouldn't we do that since we're getting married. Now, we have only been dating for two months. We've known each other for five years and we know decided to start dating. There are many things I want to do in my life and one of those things is going to Korea. I'm already learning how to speak, read, and write in Korean, because I want to become an English teacher who teaches English as a second language. I know this isn't going to be an easy thing to do because there is so much that I have to do and I can't even fully speak the language nor do I even have a passport. I know how much work I'm going to have to put into this, but this is something I really want to do. He even got mad when I said I wanted to be an RA in my dorm so I can save money in college, because the school pays for room and board for you. He got mad saying I wasn't including him in my plans, and I told him that he does the same thing, too.

Which is something I don't understand. People can treat you one way, but when you treat them the same way then it's wrong. I don't get it. I feel if you can treat someone that way then you can get treated that way. Sometimes I even have to think about that like will I be okay if someone treated me like this, and if I was okay with it will I understand at the time why they are doing it? It just feels the only way for others to take my thoughts and dreams seriously is if it fits into what they feel I should do. 

Also, this is a mini rant about my roommate. She always on the phone late at night with her boyfriend talking out loud and I'm just over here trying to sleep, but I can't she's just going and going and going. Like right now, I need to be sleep, because I'm getting up at 6:30 a.m. to go to my 8 o'clock class. I get up this early for that class so I can eat breakfast beforehand and just look a little bit alive. Now I'm up, and I'm thinking a lot about everything, and she's annoying the hell out of me and I want to throw something at her head, but I can't because it's not her fault I'm having an early life crisis and that I can't take up for myself and I just really can't anymore. Then I can't just sit there and stop to look at the wall or lay there and just be in a daze, because I have responsibilities I have to do. 

It just really sucks right now and I feel so lost and I just don't know what to do anymore.